Ode a story to one of my favorite chica's and a spoof for her in this, the holiday season.  The characters you may recognize, but alas, they're not mine, excepting one.  They belong to the power's that be.  Wheree'r they may be and I promise to put them back in good order.  I also took great liberties, in the massacre of one of my favorite holiday tunes.  ;) M       

A Solstice Carol
By the_anonymuse_one

 

With the play over and the curtain having been drawn on another fruitful season... I was in a grand mood. 

"Hey ya Schmooch!  Sweetie, come-mere and sing with me!" I yell to my dear friend as I see her crossing the the stage.  "That play turned out really, really well!" I said, as I take her by the hand and lead her out the back door and onto the nearby frozen tundra in northwestern, Po-dunk. 

"You wanna what?" Deb, looked deeply into my blue eyes, shaking her curly blonde head in disbelief. 

"Sing!  Oh, you know the song, it'll be fun."  I grin, giving her my best smile in all it's twinkling, blindingly white glory and wiggling my dark eyebrow's in her direction.  "Aww honey, I need my Gabrielle!  You made me play a role in that thing... after all, turnabout is fair play." I mumble in a sotto voce. 

"Riiiight.  The Gabrielle thing again, got it!  She's the happy poetic sorta, soul-mate type.  Can I be thrilled?  Cheery, I mean Xena, why do I talk to you again?  Aren't YOU the one that started that SHI..."   

“Aww!  Deb, it's not that bad, you're even wearing the right attire.  I'll start ok?  And you join in when you're ready.  It's for Christmas! Come on." I said nudging her with an elbow and then flinging a long, muscular arm across her shoulders to give one of my most favorite girls a hug.   

"And, how do I let you talk me into these things again?  Wasn't one story enough?" She said as she lifted her amused green gaze to meet mine and folded her arms over her chest. 

"Because I'm your beta and I loooooooove you!" 'Oh yeah, that'll work.' 

"Don't you mean, it's for Solstice?" She said as she begins tapping her foot too the background music coming from the saddlebag. 

"Yup, same thing.  Anyways... Ok, ya ready?" 'She's still appears to be amused, that's a good thing.  Oh yeah.  I got her.'  

"I'll start." I begin in my contralto voice, 

"Sleigh bells ring, are ya listening,  In the lane, snow is glistening, 

It's a beautiful sight and we're happy tonight,  Join me for the chorus babe," I say winking at her.

"Walkin in a winter wonderland!"        

"I'm standing out here freezing off my can!"  She intoned in her soft tenor voice with a shiver. "It's cold out here, where do you get these ideas from?" 

"Ok, honey that wasn't too bad.  One more time with feeling" I say flashing my billion dinar smile at her again.  

"I'm fuh- fuh- frosting up.  How am I supposed to feel anything?" She responded.  "Maybe a warmer cuh- cuh- costume would be better Mar, I mean Cheery, I mean Xena.   

"Come on chica, you're already in the bilious green slingshot, might as well go for broke."  I start in with the next verse, ready to start sneezing myself. 'You think you've got it bad Chica?  Try wearing a metal breast-plate for a while!'  

"Gone away is the bluebird... here to stay is the new bird..."      

"Poor lil thing.  It's blue cause, it's freezing to death..." She says in a sotto voce, totally exasperated. 

"He sings a love song, as we go along, walking in a winter wonderland!" I finished the chorus.  "So Deb, I mean Gabrielle, you don't like my song?" I say with a pout.   

"I guess, we could finish the one song, just the one.  Then you have to promise me somewhere warm, like ancient Greece." She says smirking, sending her best Gabrielle grin in my direction. 

"Ok, I can do that!  You'll  have to sing though." I began anew,

"In the meadow we can build a snowman" 

"In the meadow we can build an igloo," she piped up changing my words.

"There's enough snow, we could build a town." She frowned slightly, "Nothing rhymes with igloo..." 

"It's Ok!  Go with it!  What ever you want." I said, happy that she was now singing.   

"Fine then, igloo... she started to sing. 

"We'll have lot's of fun out in the igloo, until I slip and fall and break my... 

"G A B R I ELLE!" I tried to scowl, but it was futile at that point, I went with it.

"Later on, we'll aspire, as we dream by the fire. To face unafraid, the plans that we've made, walking in a winter..."   

"Walking in the winter's stupid... Maam?" she continued.   

"Walking outside you can get a frostbite!  Worse than that dear, you can catch the flu.  Roaming round here, I can't feel my fingers!  I'm just standing here and I've been turning blue.  How bout you..." 

"Honey, you think that?" I let my shoulders slump downward, hanging my head at her rejection of my happy tune. 

"Sleigh bells ring, are ya listening... In the lane snow is glistening..." She sang brightly.  

"It's a beautiful sight, and we're happy tonight. Together in a winter wonderland."  She continued singing to my sorry form.

"Later on, we'll conspire, as we dream by the fire." She finished and bumped my shoulder with her's.  

"So, am I forgiven for dragging you outside and freezin ya half to death?" 

She winked and sang, "And I'll make ya soup, when you''ve got the croupe from walking in a winter wonderland." 

"So, I should take that as a yes?" 

"Of course, silly.  Can we go in now?" She said sweetly batting her eye lashes in her very own personified, Deb fashion.   

"Merry Christmas Deb, uh Gabrielle."     

"Happy Solstice, Mar, uh Cheery.. uh, Xena.  How's the breast-plate?  Knock, knock?" 

CLANK!!  CLANK!!  CLANK!! 

"Doh!  That is soooo, not funny Deb!  What was I thinking?  It's cold out here!" We headed back to the theater and the friends there to join in the celebration!   

"Can I be an elf next time?" I say grinning..

            

The End

Happy Holidays