Synopsis:  Sam and Tylyn find out that sometimes, if you wait long enough. Love, peace and happiness will find you no matter where you are and what we think we have lost is really with us when we least expect it.

Warning: Some bad words and a quirky sense of humor.

A Light From Inside The Barn
By Koda Graystone

 

A loud thump followed by a crash broke the silence of the night. Then steam began to rise from the hood of the car fogging the windshield to the point the driver couldn't see. The driver slowly pulled over to the side of the road and shut off the motor. Long denim covered legs could be seen as the driver opened the door and got out of the car walking around to the rear. The woman retrieved a flashlight from the trunk of the car and turned it on. When she got to the front of the car, she opened the hood and her face was immediately blasted by a steam bath. As she coughed and wiped at her eyes, she squinted trying to see what the problem was. Three hoses were blowing water all over her engine.

"Eat me!" She cursed vehemently, as she went back to the trunk and began to get out some tools, hoses, clamps and a jar of Vaseline.

"Thank my tits that most Indians are dirt poor and we have to carry supplies with us," she said to the darkness as she made her way to the front of the car.

Hanging the flashlight off the raised hood of the car, she started to remove the shorter hose first. Once that was completed, she tackled the larger ones. However, the larger hoses were stuck solid to the nipple and she had to use her pocket knife to cut them off. Finally, she was ready to put the new hoses back on. The woman strained and strained trying to get the new hose to fit on the connector, but it wouldn't slide on.

"Time for the Vaseline," she laughed. "These hoses are tighter than a virgin."

After smearing the gooey stuff on the connector and the hose opening, she pushed, grunted and cursed, until the hose finally slid on the way she wanted it. Soon she was standing with a smile on her face, proud of the fact she'd finished the job.

"Hey Mom," she spoke to her dead mother. "I just popped two virgins."

As she was putting her tools away, she noticed her car was slanted. Upon closer inspection, she discovered she had a flat tire.

"Gods be damned," she yelled. "I have no spare."

She remembered, she was supposed to have picked up her spare at the tire shop, but had forgotten. Slamming the trunk closed and then grabbing her backpack from the passenger seat, she began to walk up the lonely dark road.

She couldn't believe her luck. It was two-thirty in the morning on Christmas Day and she was walking on a poorly paved road. It was so incredibly windy, that she was knocked off balance and even felt her lips flapping as a gust hit her. She prayed that the road was leading her towards a town. All she knew was that she was somewhere out on the west coast of the United States on her way to spend the Christmas holiday at one of the sunny beach resorts in California. Her cell phone was out of range; therefore, her only option was to walk to the nearest town and try to get help.

'This was all mother's fault,' she thought. Even through her mother had been dead for five years, it was still her fault. Sample Swift Trogen, was her name. Now isn't that just the cat's meow! If not, just the stupidest thing you've ever heard? If her mother hadn't named Sam what she had, she knew that her luck in life would have been better. Sam kicked a small rock with the toe of her boot and listened to it bounce down the road in front of her. Thank goodness the moon was out now, or she would probably be walking in a field full of cow shit. It was the weirdest damn weather, she'd ever seen but at least the wind had stopped trying to blow her over.

Her knees felt like they just had their 90th birthday and her tendonitis was acting up so bad, she was limping. She didn't have hips. These are the wonderful traits that she inherited from her mom: no boobs, no hips, the inability to drink and a tendency for motion sickness in bathtubs.

Her mother, Thankful Teagarden Hornbuckle, at the ripe old age of forty-five, got knocked up by Cling Bonner Kernoodle, at a Saturday night Bush Hog party. Her mother explained that Sam was the result of a free sample of mint tingle Trojans, which broke, that Cling had gotten from the Swift market on the corner of Fallout and Stiff Streets.

Sam laughed as she thought about her late mother. Momma used to tell her that Cling wouldn't let go of her tea bags. It took forever for Sam to realize, that her Momma was talking about Cling sucking her tits. Thankful and Cling were both Cherokee Indians, or at least that is what they told everyone. No one knew for sure, but the government agency sent them money every month and of course the fact that they lived on a reservation, didn't hurt any. Everyone figured, they were either really Indians, or had escaped from the mental ward. Either way, most people left them alone.

Off in the distance a wolf howled, no doubt trying to find a mate. Finding a mate was something that Sam had given up on. Lesbian Indians with funny names and no boobs weren't on the top ten most available list. Sam hadn't had sex in years. She laughed softly, thinking that if she didn't get some soon the fingers on her right hand would wear off to nothing, but stubs. She'd tried those artificial fuckers, but nothing compared to using her fingers. She'd read about this woman once, who would crawl underneath her kitchen sink, tuck her body up into a pretzel and suck her own self off. There was no way that Sam was going to "know thyself" that intimately, nope, no way in hell.

As she hobbled along, she began to get blisters. Sam had no idea how far she'd walked, but the throbbing in her feet became so unbearable, it was only eased by frequent collapses with her legs dangling in the air like an overturned cockroach.

Sam had bought a new shirt for her trip. One that she quickly learned not only retained odor, but stewed it, morphed it and then masticated it into the vilest smelling putrid piece of body odor that had ever existed. She decided as she lifted her arm to push her wind blown hair from her face for the thousandth time, that she needed a shower and to buy a new shirt that didn't make her almost pass out when she got a whiff. She thought about cutting a little piece from the armpit area to put in her first aid kit to serve as a smelling salt.

Off in the distance she saw a flicker of light, either that, or it was a firefly that just bit the dust. Sam hoped, that she would come upon a friendly family that would offer her a place to sleep for the night and then help her get her car back on the road tomorrow. After walking for what seemed like forever, she came upon the flicker of light. It was coming from inside an old barn. Slowly, after all her feet were killing her, she walked up to the barn and opened the door.

Inside was like Noah's ark. There were many different types of animals, some Sam had never seen before. In the middle of the circle of animals was a human. A woman, she guessed by the shape of her back and the golden hair that hung down to the person's waist. The female was holding a baby lamb and softy singing.

As the song ended, not only did the woman, but all the animals turned their heads and looked at her. Sam felt that the animals could read her mind. "Of course they can," the woman said with a smile. "This is your home."

"My home?" Sam asked confused.

"Of course. Were you not thinking of a warm bed, soft straw, animals and someone to love you, when your tire blew?"

Sam took a moment to think back. She remembered listening to a Christmas song on the radio and it brought to her mind such a warm feeling. In her mind she built a place where she was happy, content and loved. She'd thought about Noah's ark and how it must have been so peaceful. She'd also thought about having a woman that loved her and cared for her.

"You mean this is my dream?"

The woman put the baby lamb down and got to her feet. Sam drew in a deep breath, as she received her first view of the woman. She was beautiful. She had almost white hair with touches of gold flakes that fell to her waist like a warm blanket. The woman had beautiful eyes and a body that made Sam fantasize very wicked, but satisfying thoughts.

"Not exactly," the woman said as she walked over to stand in front of Sam. "When your tire blew your car spun out of control and . . . umm, well . . . you died."

"I'm dead?" Sam immediately grabbed her tits and then ran her hands down over her body. 'Thank God the important stuff is still here.' She thought. "Why can I feel myself?" Then she reached out and touched the woman's hand, it was very warm. "How come I can feel you and your warm? If I'm dead, aren't I supposed to be cold?"

"When you died, your wishes or thoughts at the moment of death, were granted to you. Your dream came true. This is your home, your desires at the time of your death."

Sam was having a hard time believing all of this. "If, I understand you correctly and I hope I do, this is where I will spend eternity? Here in this barn with the animals and you?"

"Yes."

"Can we go outside the barn?"

The woman blushed once again. "Umm . . . I was also granted a few wishes of my own. Which you will find out in time, but yes we can go outside the barn. This is our little corner of eternity. No one else can ever come here."

"What if we don't get along? I have a lot of bad habits, such as picking my nose and farting. You may grow to hate me, or I may not like you. Then what?"

"Impossible. Your dream had no hate, no violence, or distrust. It had only love, care, compassion and desire."

'Hot damn,' thought Sam. 'Finally, I'm going to get some.'

A bull in the back of the barn snorted loudly, causing the other animals to also make noises.

"Did that bull just laugh at me?"

"Yes."

"Watch it bully boy, or you will become charcoaled steaks."

The woman reached her hand out and touched Sam's arm with a look of concern. "There can be no death here. This is a place of peace, love and desire. No pain, anger, or harm, can come to any of the occupants."

Sam looked into the woman's eyes for a long time. There was something that was just, so familiar about them. It was as if, she had looked into those same eyes many times before. Slowly, as if a curtain was being opened from a window, she began to see flashes of their past lives. In each life they had been together. Their love had found them in all the different places they lived and in all the different centuries, but this one. Slowly, Sam reached her hands out and with a look full of regret asked, "What happened this time? Why did our spirits, our love, not find each other like the times before?"

Tears immediately filled the eyes in front of her. "I died at birth. My mother was so fat, she didn't even know she was pregnant with me. She choked on a chicken bone, while pigging out at the local BBQ and by the time they got her to the hospital we had both died." She started to cry. "I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you all these years."

Sam immediately pulled the small woman into her arms. "Hey, it's okay. My life wasn't all that bad." 'Not a good way to start off by lying to your wife,' thought Sam. "What name are you going by now?"

"You haven't given me one." The woman smiled. "However, we really need to think of something other than Sample Swift Trogen for you. How in the world could your mother name you that?" They both started to laugh. It felt so good to laugh. After they quieted down, they went over to a sofa made out of bails of hay and sat down. Sam looked at the beautiful woman sitting beside her and said. "I would like to call you Tylyn. Is that alright with you?"

Tylyn nodded her head in agreement. "I think the name Sam fits you perfectly. Is that alright with you?"

Sam leaned over and gently kissed the sweet lips of her lover. "Umm. . . yes that is okay."

She looked around the barn and wondered where they would sleep. All the animals raised their heads and looked toward the top of the barn. In the far corner was a ladder that led to a loft. "Is that the bedroom?" asked Sam, as her eyes became dark and filled with desire.

"Yeah." Tylyn answered as she blushed brightly. "It's been a long time for both of us."

Sam stood and reached out her hand in invitation. Without hesitation their fingers joined. With matching smiles on their faces, they made their way to the loft where they would begin many hours of reacquainting themselves with each other.

Sam's last thought before lowering herself upon the naked body of her wife was, 'I'm so glad my dream came true.'

The End

 

Merry Christmas everyone.