Thank god for that. Satan has just gone storming out with Benedict Arnold in tow. I’m guessing that she didn’t like what she saw. How dare Liz be getting on with her life and embarking on a hopefully torrid affair with a much younger woman. It actually sounds like one of those god-awful books Liz writes full of drama and incendiary passion. I’m sure Satan just wanted to make sure Liz was still miserable and hurting, taking her own perverted pleasure in Liz’s pain.

As for the two trysting in the office, I don’t know who to be more surprised at. Cooper is famous for turning every single romantic overture down. Beautiful men, handsome women, stunning girls and GQ worthy blokes are all knocked back without a thought. Maggie Walker the soccer coach says that Cooper is simply very focused on soccer and school. From what I saw her sole focus was Liz. And Liz. Even before Cally, Liz was fairly timid with women, she had a couple of relationships that didn’t last longer than 6 months, and then Satan came along. There has been no one since.

"Excuse me, do you know where I could possibly find Eliza Sheridan?" A smoky voice seeps into my brain. I turn around to see a tall handsome blonde woman smiling.

"Ahhhhh Liz, is, ahhm indisposed at the moment, is there anything I could help with?" Be still my beating heart. If it gets any louder, this handsome hunk of female flesh will no doubt hear it.

"I certainly hope so. I’m Paula Ruben, I’m doing a reading in half an hour and wanted to know where I should set up."

"Oh Wow, I’m Antonia Davis and I am a huge fan of your work, I even had your book put on the reading list for my class."

"Always a pleasure to meet a fan, perhaps we could go somewhere quiet and get a coffee after this?" I think I would say anything to that voice.

"Abso-bloody-lutely, lets find you somewhere to get set up shall we?"

"After you." And gallant, I think I will turn into a puddle if she keeps talking to me like that.

"Cooper"

It’s music to my ears. I already love how she breathes my name. It sends shivers up and down my back. We made it up the stairs and I think into the bedroom. Once teeth started chewing on my ear and hands worked up under my T-shirt I kinda lost concentration, I just found the nearest horizontal surface.

"Pierced? I think I like them." Then she tugs on them, my god it feels fantastic. Pierced nipples sounded good at the time, the actuality of them is even better. My shirt is tugged up my body and over my head and I’m immediately attacked by 5 and a half feet of blonde. My piercings seem to be a hit as she bites around them and pulls on them with her teeth, I knew it was great day to go braless. Right now I don’t even have the fine motor control to undo buttons so I just pull the shirt she has on apart, sending buttons flying, revealing a sexy, lacy, powder blue bra. I think I’m gonna have a stroke, and If she has on matching panties she might just kill me; I’m an absolute sucker for women in exquisite underwear, even though I have only ever seen them in catalogues.

I pull her head away from my chest and take her lips in a bruising kiss; I have to taste her again. I have had her lips stuck in my thoughts ever since Vegas, and I want more of them. My hands find their own way into her bra, palming firm round breasts, I can feel her nipples hard and erect. She moans long and loud into my mouth. My god could I get anymore turned on? If she moans like that again, I’m gonna come in my pants like a teenage boy. I need some control here or I’m going to pass out already, It’s been a long time between oil changes, for good reason. I almost forgot about that. Think unsexy thoughts think unsexy thoughts. Computer languages, dry and very unsexy. Parlog, Standard ML, C++, CLP, Eiffel, CLOS, Mathematica, Oberon, HTML, Haskell. Fuck it I can’t think of anything except her. I think I'm screwed. I hope.

Silky smooth skin, firm muscles, hot wet tongue mapping my mouth. Almost frantically I fumble for the buttons of her jeans; I need them off right now. If I could bring my self to tear my lips away from hers, I would bite the damn things off seeing as my hands don’t work anymore. I can feel her gentle hands slide down my arms and take my hands away, then she reaches in and with a flick of her wrist she has all five little buttons undone, she pulls her hips away from me as she shimmies them down her legs. She pulls back from the kiss only to kiss and suck her way down my neck and back to my very excited nipples who are happy to be back in the spotlight. I can feel her fingers in the waist of my jeans undoing the button and slowly sliding my zipper down. I lift my butt off the bed as she lowers them down my long legs, they would be off by now if I was shorter. I also need to kiss Rico for not doing my laundry; if she had done it like she was supposed to I would be wearing my usual boxer shorts now instead of going commando today. Liz kisses her way back up my torso and straddles my stomach; she sits up straight and Oh My God she has on matching panties.

Oh My God. I think I killed her. Can you kill someone like this? I think she is still breathing. Yup, she’s still alive, those perfect, pierced breasts are still moving up and down. I can’t believe she passed out on me. She took one look and was out cold. This certainly never happens to my literary heroines.

"Cooper?" I ask trying hard not to sound as desperate as I feel right now. I stroke her cheek hoping that some sort of life comes back.

"C’mon Cooper, I know you’re in there, now is so not the time to get all shy." One lone blue eye eases open.

"I did it again didn’t I?" she asks quietly when she is fully conscious, exposing an endearing amount of embarrassment and vulnerability. "I guess this is where you start laughing at me and tell me to go, but don’t worry I know the drill."

What!?!? My mind screams. My mouth tries to echo as she tugs her jeans and boots back on. I’m still trying to work out what the hell just happened when she pulls her T-shirt over her head and quietly leaves. Now I’m alone and I still have no idea.

"This is where you start laughing at me and tell me to go." That was the last thing she said, why would I laugh at her or tell her to go? I’m pretty sure stripping her down to her birthday suit indicates I kind of like her. Unless someone else did exactly that. What sort of insensitive imbecile would do something like that?

How stupid am I? I should have known it would happen. I’m 21, captain of the soccer team, do ok in school, I guess I’m ok looking, I think I’m a nice enough person and will I ever get a girlfriend? I’ll take a big fat no for $500 Alex. I am a freak, simple as that really. Every single time I have ever gotten close to someone in a non-platonic kinda way, I keel over, out cold. There are a couple of women who still laugh at me when I see them. Maybe I should just give up and get used to being alone; it’s a hell of a lot better for my shattered self-esteem. I don’t know how many more times I can go through this and come out still standing. A pity it’s so fucking lonely. I think being known as a frigid bitch would be better than being a freak.

Of course it has to start raining too doesn’t it, salt in the wounds. I jog all the way over to my dorm in the pouring rain, kicking at my door because it swells up and gets jammed when it rains.

"Hiya Chica, how was the book reading? Do I still have to read it" Rico asks without looking up from painting her toenails a ghastly shade of orange only gorgeous dark skinned Latino women can wear.

"Huh? Oh I ahhm, didn’t stick around for it, sorry." I say quickly making my way to the tiny bathroom.

"Waidaminute. What happened to you? You haven’t looked this miserable since freshman year after that puta from the volleyball team……… oh no, not again Cooper, who was she?" An angry protective Rico is a scary thing, but embarrassed, depressed, defensive and sexually frustrated me is even worse.

"Not now, We’ll talk tomorrow." I tell her before closing the door and turning on the water in the tiny shower. The only good thing about this dorm is the never-ending hot water. I can stand here for days letting the water run over me, too bad the door is thrown open by the determined Latina I room with. Good thing about being a jock is nudity does not phase us in the slightest. There is no room for modesty in an open shower room.

"You tell me what happened Cooper, I am your friend, maybe I can help. If not I can ask my cousin Miguel to make who ever made you sad disappear." She says seriously.

Ahhh, true friends are the ones who will put a hit on your enemies without second thought. Kinda scary really, but it makes me almost smile.

"It’s nothing Rico, it was my fault and I left before she threw me out."

"What sorda puta would wanna throw you out? Look ina mirror, even I wouldn’t throw you out and I don’t even like women! What sorda woman you been chasin’ my friend?"

"Yeah you would, everyone always does! Everyone wants to get into my pants until they find out I’m a great big dud! Do you know how many times I have had sex? Zip, Zilch, Nada. Never. I pass out before I get a chance. I’m usually out cold even before getting any clothes off. When I come too I get laughed at, teased, called horrible names and thrown out, no-one wants to sleep with me when they find out I'm defective." Oh crap. I didn’t mean to let any of that slip. Rico is the closest thing I have to a best friend; I really didn’t want her to know all of this. Mental note: don’t get into lively discussions when your emotional defenses are shot, it leads to unauthorized information leaks as well as a serious saline leak from my eyes.

"Cooper, talk to me. I’m always gonna be your friend and anyone who treats you badly is gonna have to deal with me alright."

Aw hell, I guess I should start at the start.

"I saw your rumpled young ‘friend’ slinking out the door awhile ago Liz. I must say, I’m impressed you have managed to do what the entire population of USC have only dreamt of." Toni says with a large smirk

"What are you talking about?" my earlier confusion has just gotten worse.

"Cooper bloody Benson. That girl has turned down everyone since she was a freshman. For nearly 4 years no-one has gotten anywhere near her, yet you come along and are nearly shagging on the desk in there."

"Yeah well it would have been a real ‘shag’ in my bed………" I cut myself off before I spill that information. I'm so not ready to share just yet. Besides I would hate for anyone to discuss the ins and outs of my sexual quirks, like just how much I love nipple rings, whether or not I like my ass smacked, what colored sex toys I prefer. I don’t know if this ‘incident’ is one I can share. How would I feel if the tables were turned?

"So is she as good as everyone has hoped?"

"Better." I say as I walk over to see Paula Ruben doing her reading, everyone is enthralled. I’m guessing I will be selling lots of her books tonight. I hope I can be as successful as a writer. I hope Cooper is ok. My head tells me it’s for the best that nothing happened, she’s too young, your too old, but everything else says to not let her get away. She seems so, special. Like a big spot of sky blue in my monochrome world. Even running into the ex from hell didn’t worry me, purely because she was there, and I don’t even know her well. Really I don’t know her at all, but I feel like I should, and I think my heart already does. I can’t help but hope someone gets the chance to prove not everyone will hurt her, but I think maybe the damage has already been done. I wonder where she is. I watch and listen to the book reading without really hearing anything, I just repeat my brand new inner mantra. She’s too young, you’re too old.

"Blah blah blah blah. La blah blah blah blah, Ah blah?"

I wish this class would hurry up and finish. I just want to go home. I have no idea what’s being said, I hope it’s not important. Actually I don’t think I really care to be honest. I’m fed up with going through the motions. Soccer, school, eat, sleep and the Internet. My entire life in one sentence. I would say it’s sad but its not, more like pathetic, if it could even be called a life. Somehow I don’t think kicking around a ball and living vicariously through fanfic on the ‘net is much of a life.

It’s been 3 weeks since the disaster with Liz at the bookstore, and I have avoided the place like its diseased. I don’t think I can face her again; Oh well, she has a funny story to share with her friends. That makes me frown when I think about it. My entire sexual history can be condensed into hilarious anecdotes. Too bad I don’t find it too funny.

Maybe I should just go home to Bumfuck California and stop wasting time with school. Playing soccer is hardly a career and I can write my computer programs anywhere. I don’t need a degree to do it. With the money I won in Vegas I went out and got myself a top of the line desktop system and the coolest notebook I could find. Some of the software I have written is ready for release, maybe if I can get a decent payout for them I could buy a shack on the beach, write programs at night and surf all day. I’ve still got enough in savings to live for a few months if I'm tight with it. I quietly pack up my books and unplug my notebook and leave the class.

I boot up my computer and my notebook as soon as I get back to my dorm room. On the desktop I work on my programs and on the notebook I scour through real estate listings trying to find something I can afford. I'm feeling really good about this. I can work and buy a surfboard, maybe get a dog, learn to play guitar and not worry about what’s missing.

Arrrgggghhhh.

It’s official. I have writer’s block.

The bane of bards.

The scourge of scribes.

The arch nemesis of authors.

For an entire month I have been verb-aly, noun-ly and adjective-ly constipated. And it is the second most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. The first being tall, sporty and banished from my thoughts. I roll my chair away from my computer in self-disgust. Maybe I should go downstairs to the shop and harass my employee’s for a while; that’s what I pay them for after all. I walk down the stairs and through my office, aiming for the café section of the store. Of course Toni is at the counter drinking tea and gossiping with Tiffany.

"Hi Boss." Tiffany says with a smile

"Hey beautiful, how goes the book?" does Toni ever actually teach? Or is it an elaborate hoax.

I grunt in their general direction before I pray to the caffeine goddess, otherwise known as the huge big shiny Gaggia Expresso machine.

"Hey Liz, did you hear the latest about Cooper?" Toni asks, I only just manage to stop my latte from pouring out of my nose. Cooper is a subject we DO NOT talk about. I’m about to tell her this when I remember Tiffany is standing right there, and Tiffany is the biggest gossip queen aside from Toni of course.

"Yeah, last week she quit all her classes; rumor has it she made a bundle of money selling some computer stuff to some software giant. Ya know, and then it was announced to the soccer team that she had like been invited to a training camp for the Olympic soccer team. Crazy stuff, the class size had practically like halved since she quit, no one really wanted to learn to speak computer gobbledygook." Tiffany tells me all in one incredible breath before starting again. "And now everybody is trying to work up the courage to ask her out on a date before she leaves. I think it’s kinda sad though, ya know, the only people who ever really talked to her are the soccer girls, and now she is leaving everybody wants a piece of her."

"Well, some chances don’t come along twice so people should make the most of them." Toni says with conviction. Ever since I told her what happened, I had to talk to someone or my head would explode, she has been on my case trying to convince me to talk to Cooper. Not in this lifetime. She is way too young for me. She is on the wrong side of 25, or am I the wrong side of 35?????