Ash was more than a little surprised to see some lanky teenage boy mowing the front lawn at the Graham house.  After all, mowing the Graham’s lawn was her job.  She walked all the way from the Coffee Shop after closing to cut the grass and trim the hedges.  Just like she did last Thursday. 

The Graham’s were on a weekly schedule for cutting.  Ash wanted them to have a really pretty lawn.  She only charge her regular bimonthly rate.  She told Mrs. Graham it was a military discount because her husband was on active duty.  Ash thought it was the least she could do for the young mother with four little kids and a heart full of worry.

“Probably got a better deal,” Ash muttered as she walked up the cobbled stone path to the front door.

The kid pushing the lawn mower stopped momentarily to glare at her.  Ash met his eyes and quickly looked away.  It was obvious he was very angry.  His long sleeved white cotton shirt was buttoned to the top and soaked in sweat.  The veins in his neck popped out over the edge slightly with the raging beat of his heart.  As he panted, little strings of spittle exited the corners of his hard lined mouth.

Ash kept moving towards the door as she thought, “Gross.  Is he foaming at the mouth or something?”

Before Ash could even knock, the screen door opened and Mrs. Graham stood blocking the entry.  “Lindsey, I wanted to call you but…,”

“I don’t got a phone,” Ash finished the statement in a soft voice.  “Great!  You’re totally gonna cap me.  Thanks so fucking much.”  Ash’s mind silently taunted.

“Well, see, it’s like this…, my pastor, he worries about corrupting influences…especially with young impressionable kids.  You know, kids whose Dad’s aren’t around…, like mine.  He thought it would be better, well, if his son took care of the lawn.”  There was a hint of sadness in Mrs. Graham’s voice.  “He thinks your lifestyle…, isn’t a good example.  I don’t really know about that kind of stuff but he’s our pastor and he says he knows for sure.  He says, you not having supervision and…,well, no parents and…,”

“I got parents,” Ash snapped and her eyes narrowed.  “Everybody got parents.  Even me.  I just got bad ones.”

A deep rumble of a male voice clearing interrupted the exchange.  Mrs. Graham backed away from the door.  Ash noticed, beyond her own simmering anger, that Mrs. Graham seemed frightened.  A tall, painfully thin man with a buzz cut stepped into the open space.  His once black suit had taken a shiny, graying hue from years of wear and wash.

“Young woman, disrespectful talk about your parents is against the Commandments of God.  It can not be tolerated under any conditions.”  The minister hissed his admonition.

“What would you know about my parents?”  Ash fumed.  “You don’t even know me.  You got no right to tell me anything.”

The man gave a smug grin, “See, what I’m talking about Hanna.  She doesn’t understand the first thing about morals or manners.  Your children need to be protected from this type of negative attitude.  My boy, Jonah, will tend your garden while your husband’s away.  As for you, young woman, I suggest you get yourself to a place where you can turn your life around.  There are lost sheep but no lost causes.  Everybody can be saved.  You must accept your sin and turn to Jes…,”

“Oh I’m gonna get saved alright!  I’m gonna save myself from you!”  Ash shouted before turning and storming down stoned path.  She stopped long enough to snort at Jonah, “You got my sympathy, dude.”

She was more than a block away when Hanna caught up with her.  “Wait, Lindsey, wait.”

“Wait?  Why?  You want to tell me how bad I am too?  Get in line.”  Ash yelled.

“No, honey, I’m sorry about this.  Really.  Nobody wants to hurt you, I mean, I don’t want to hurt you but…,”

“But, you will anyway.  Just like everybody else,”  Ash’s mind raced to reply but she kept her mouth shut as she folded her arms defensively over her chest. 

“You gotta understand,” Hanna gave a huge sigh and ran her hands through her wildly blowing hair trying to calm herself, “I don’t give a crap about your past.  None of that’s your fault anyway.  You’re a good kid and you really helped me out but…my church gives me food, help with daycare, has been there to support me while Allen has been away.”

“So?” Ash didn’t understand.

Hanna grimaced, “I can’t risk losing those things.  Sometimes in life, you can’t do what you know is right because you need something else more.  If my church stopped helping me then I’d have bigger problems than I have right now.  Trust me, my problems are big enough.  I’m sorry, Lindsey, but I got my kids to think about.”

“And, I’m nobody’s kid,” Ash thought to herself as a deep swell of grief filled her lungs, making it hard to breath.

“Here, I want you to take this,” Hanna tried to push a several wadded dollars into Ash’s hand.

“NO!”  Ash pulled her hand back.  “I didn’t do any work.”

“Lindsey, take it.  You walked all the way out here.  Please, take it,” Hanna argued.

“Giving it to me will only make you feel better.”   Ash stepped away from Mrs. Graham.  “You shouldn’t feel better.  I don’t want you to feel better.  You should feel bad about treating me like a piece of shit because somebody told you to do it.  He says, I got no morals but I know firing a person because of who they are and not what they do is wrong.  I’m pretty sure your buddy, Jesus, would be agreeing with me if he was standing behind you.”  Ash noticed Mrs. Graham glanced over her shoulder at the remark.  “But, nobody listens to what he really said anyway so, I guess, it don’t matter.”

Ash waited a moment.  Mrs. Graham opened her mouth several times to speak.  She seemed to want to argue the point.  Several seconds passed as red patches of blush crept up Mrs. Graham’s cheeks but no words were uttered.

“She’s embarrassed,” Ash realized.  “You go on and keep your money.  You must need it more than I do.  I hope your husband gets back home soon and safe, Mrs. Graham.”

Ash turned her back on the woman and started the long walk home.

 

*        *          *

 

Ash was pounding away on the computer keyboard.  She was trying to focus on writing her college application essay.  Still, every so often she’d take in a deep breath and enjoy the new, fresh out of the box smell of the laptop in front of her.  It brought a happy grin to her face every time.  

Mr. Deming surprised her by closing early the day after the ugly scene at Mrs. Graham’s.  He told her they needed to go shopping.  She thought he meant at the Farmer’s Market for the next week’s vegetables.  Instead, he brought her to Techno Logic and set her loose with the singular command to get the absolute best deal possible. 

Ash haggled and finagled under his watchful eye.  When she struck a bargain for a reliable laptop, Mr. Deming stepped in and upped the purchase order to four laptops.  He demanded and got an additional price reduction because of the ‘volume’ of his purchase.  Ash was in awe of the man’s bargaining skills.

Every day since that hot Friday night, Ash spent two hours after work hooking up the devices.  Assembly wasn’t bad but setting up the internet access was the pits.  After a week of hard work, all the computers were functional.  A seemingly insurmountable task was completed.  Ash was more pleased with herself than she could ever remember being.

Ash’s reward for all the hard work was more than money.  Although, the overtime would help with the loss of five of her regular mow jobs to the pastor’s kid.  One thing better than money, was time.  Mr. Deming insisted Ash work on her college applications on the new computers after the shop closed for the day while still on the clock.  He gave her some line about checking out the equipment but Ash knew better.  Mr. Deming was trying to help her improve her life and she was not about to say no to the man. 

Banging at the front door startled Ash from her pleasant thoughts, “We’re closed.”

The banging continued.

“Sorry!  We’re closed!”  Ash announced louder.

The banging increased.

“Oh for God’s sake,” Ash rolled her eyes as she climbed out of her chair.  “Somebody must have a hard on for Mr. Deming crepe’s.”  She unlocked the deadbolt and pulled the door open, “Sorry, we’re closed.”

“I’m here to see you, Lindsey.”

The woman standing in the open doorway was vaguely familiar.  Her hair was cut short like a boy’s regular and she wore a non-formfitting gray dress tied in the middle with a braided rope sash.  Hanging from her neck was a large silver cross.  But, her voice was instantly recognizable to Ash.

“Mommy?”  Ash whispered in terror.

The woman nodded.  “I want to speak with you.  Will you let me in or do I have to stand in the street all afternoon?”

Ash said nothing.  She stumbled back from the door.  The woman advanced into the shop one step for every step Ash retreated.  For a brief moment, Ash could see past her mother’s billowing skirts into the beat up car at the curbside.  The driver was Jonah.  

“You’re the pastor’s wife!”  Ash pointed an accusing finger.  “That guy’s  that’s been bad mouthing me to all my customers.”

“My husband, the Right Revered Cornway, has merely been tending his flock.  He must advise when evil, no matter how benign, is growing in their midst’s.”

“Oh, so now I’m evil?  You told your pimp I was your meal ticket.  You told the judge I was incorrigible.  Which is it?  Or do you pick your words by who your listener is?”  Ash challenged.

Her mother shut the door and pulled out a chair to sit.  “I was very troubled during our time together.”

“Time together?  It’s called infancy.  Not time together.  You make it sound like we went to Cancun,”  Ash thought to herself.

“I found the Lord, with the guidance of Reverend Mr. Cornway.  He taught me how wrong my life was.  He told me, the only salvation was to renounce my ways, purge myself of the shameful affliction sin had cursed me with, and reclaim my purity.” 

Ash thought for just a heartbeat before the realization of the statement hit her, “You’re calling me an ‘affliction’ because of sin?  You think God ‘cursed’ you with me because you’re a whore?”

“I’m no longer a prostitute.”  Her mother stated evenly.

“But, I’m still a BASTARD!”  Ash felt tears close to her eyes but she refused to cry them.  She could hear the pounding of feet racing up the cellar stairs and knew she could survive alone for a few minutes longer.  Help was right behind her.  

“Yes, you’ll always be some hooker’s bastard in Blandford.  Which is why you should leave.  Half of my husband’s congregation lives in town.  Your continued presence is making us uncomfortable,”  the woman stated without looking Ash in the eyes.  “If you need money to relocate then we might be able to assist you with some small stipend.”

“ASH?”  Mr. Deming shouted with a breathless wheeze from the top of the cellar stairs.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing much,”  Ash turned to reassure him and saw all his fury focus on the woman seated in his café. 

“I told you and your psycho husband to stay away from my place and I meant it.  Ash is no concern of yours anymore,”  Mr. Deming was seething.  “Now get out or I will call the police, JEANETTE!  I don’t think you’d like another soliciting charge on your rap sheep.”

“I’m not doing anything of the kind.  I’m just having a talk with my daughter,” Ash’s mother remained coolly indifferent.

Mr. Deming strode up behind Ash and put both his meaty, dirty hands on her slender shoulders, “You ain’t got no daughter, JEANETTE!  Ash was abandoned by some selfish creature of the night and the state raised her.  Which means I paid to bring her up.  So, on behalf of the taxpayers of the Commonwealth, you leave our daughter alone.  And, seeing as you got no purpose here, I suggest you leave before I go ahead and bring that solicitation charge.”

Ash’s mother stood to leave.

“Wait,” Ash blurted out.  “Jonah?  Who’s he to you?”

Ash’s mother beamed, “My step son.  His mother died in child birth.  I’m the only mother the boy has ever known.”

“You raised him?”

“Of course.  He was only seven or eight when his father rescued me.  He  was such a special child.  Jonah and his father were a new beginning for me.  A chance to start fresh.”

“Without me?”  Ash felt a tear in the corner of her eye.

“Yes, without you I could be clean again.”

Ash watched as the minister’s wife exited the coffee shop.  Through tear streaked vision she saw the woman get into the car with Jonah.  The pair talked briefly before driving off.  Ash could see their faces.  She felt a heaviness in her chest at the site.  Jonah loved the woman Ash hated. 

“You’re coming home with me tonight.  Mrs. Deming has a big dinner planned and my belly can’t afford to get bigger,”  Mr. Deming rubbed Ash’s shoulders as he spoke. 

“Thanks but I think I’d just like to stay here a little longer and work on my essay,”  Ash wiped her tears dry as she spoke.  “I don’t want to miss the deadlines and have to stay in town another year.”

 

The End