Help From Big Brother
Part 1

By Shadowdancer

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Feedback: Shadowdancer

 

Part 1

 

The scene: Night time somewhere in Greece, Xena and Gabrielle’s campsite.  Both are in their bedrolls sound asleep; as she sleeps, a familiar voice calls to Xena from the Elysian Fields. *Mother, mother can you hear me? Mother? *

“Solan?” Xena murmured in answer to her son’s calling, still deep in sleep.  

{Picture now if you will, Xena in that cave like place where she found Solan cocooned in God Fearing Child. You remember? Solan was cocooned in a webby sort of thing staring at images of his mother before she took him to where he could cross into the Elysian Fields. Picture her standing there in front of the portal thingy and Solan on the opposite side talking to her. She’s not really there, but she is in her mind} 

“Solan? What’s wrong? Are you alright?” “Yes mother, I’m fine, It’s not me who needs your help mother, it’s Arex, he’s in danger mother”.  “What kind of danger Solan? What do you mean? Arex is with Danalia and her amazons; he couldn’t be in a safer place”.  Solan dropped his head sadly for a minute and then looked at his mother again. “A warlord who used to ride with Eve when she was bad attacked Danalia’s village at night, and took him. He set the village on fire, and then attacked, killing many of the amazons, and taking Arex. It’s not their fault mother, don’t be angry with them, they fought bravely, and tried to get him back, but they were overwhelmed, and their village was on fire as well. Many of them died trying to save brother, the queen was hurt very badly trying to save him herself. The Amazons who came here say that the others who lived were saying that they didn't think their Queen would live”.   

“I’m not angry with them, I know they must have tried to save him, but that warlord and his men asked for more trouble than they know by taking your brother” “ What do you mean mother?”.  “Do you see this mark on my throat?” Xena showed the mark to Solan, and he nodded, “Your brother, your Aunt Gabrielle, and I are protected by Vengence, the daughter of Alti, and Dahak, Lord of the Darkness, and the Undead.  Anybody who tries to hurt any of us, signs his own death warrant, and that’s just what that warlord did by taking Arex. When he finds out what that mark on Arex’s throat means, he could either panic, and abandon him somewhere, or kill him, and dump the body and pray that he can get away before Vengence finds out and hunts him down, which she will. I have to find your brother and get him back before who ever this warlord is does something stupid”.  

"Do you really think he'll kill Arex mother?" "No, I don't think he's that stupid; anybody who knows Vengence's mark knows that if you kill someone with that mark, you're as good as dead yourself".  "But isn't she dangerous mother? We hear things about her even here in Elysia. It's said that she's a thousand times worse than her mother ever was, and as dangerous as Dahak himself, if not more so. They say that she's his favorite daughter and that he values her counsel above all others".  Xena chuckled at that, "Vengence would be glad to hear that her reputation has even spread to Elysia. Solan, do you know where your sister is by any chance?" Xena knew it was a long shot, but she gave it a try.  

Solan shook his head, "No mother, I'm sorry, she talks to me from time to time, telling me about her life as the Messenger of Eli, and about what she's been doing.  She told me about the last time you two were together; she said she hated to leave you and Aunt Gabrielle but that you three travel different paths now. She said she hoped you knew how much she loves you".  "I do" was all Xena said, tearing up at the memory of the last time she'd seen Eve. Solan looked away as if hearing something, and Xena watched him for a few minutes, and then asked, "Solan? What is it? ". Still listening, he replied, "Its brother, he's alive, he's too young to talk to me the way you and Eve do, but I can sense his thoughts through our bond with you. He's afraid of the "bad men" as he calls them, but he has your courage. He doesn't show them that he's afraid". 

Xena was proud of Arex, only two and half winters old, nearly three,  but as smart, and courageous as a boy twice his age. "Can you tell where he is?". Xena's heart was racing a million miles, she was more anxious about Arex's safety than she let on to Solan, not wanting to worry him.  "He's thinking about hills, two big hills, and "big water" between them, with lots of trees around the big water. It must be a pond or a lake".  Solan smiled and looked at his mother, "You've told him about me mother". 

 "Yes, I told him about his big brother Solan, and how you watch out for him from here in Elysia, so he'd better be a good boy so that he can see you some day".  Solan's smile melted Xena's heart as usual and she wished she could hug him. "He's thinking about me, he's picturing me in his mind, what I must look like. He doesn't understand that I’ve crossed over does he mother?"."No, he's too young. He just thinks that you're somewhere far away and that someday Gabrielle and I will take him to see you if he's good".  Xena's heart broke to think of little Arex not knowing that his big brother whom he's so eager to meet someday is dead.  

"It's alright mother, he'll understand when he's older. For now he's happy thinking that someday he'll meet me on your side. You'd better go mother, find brother; if I find anything out, I'll come to you in your dreams again. Give Aunt Gabrielle a hug for me will you? And tell her that I love her too. Tell her that it's not her fault that I died, to stop blaming herself for my death. It was the Fates who decided that I should die the way I did when I did, I don't blame her, and you shouldn't either mother".  Gabrielle talked to Solan? That surprised Xena, Gabrielle never said anything, and she'd never heard her talking to him.  She still blamed herself for his death? She would have to talk to her about it, she thought they'd gotten past all that.  

"I will Solan, and I don't blame her, I didn't blame her then, I was angry at Hope, and hated her for killing you, but since Hope wasn't there, Gabrielle was the next easiest target, and she was, is, Hope's mother".  Solan nodded, understanding the misplaced hatred that tore Xena and Gabrielle apart for awhile. "Good bye Solan, I love you" "I love you too mother, always". The "dream" faded, and Xena awoke to the dawning light with a warm feeling in her heart, her love for her lost son would never fade, nor his for her.  

A few hours later:  Gabrielle is breaking camp while Xena hurries to saddle Argo, eager to get going, Gabrielle likewise is hurrying as fast as she can, worried about her nephew whom she thought of more like a son than a nephew, and of her Amazon friends as well. They had to try to get there before Danalia died; she'd become a good friend, and Gabrielle didn't want to loose another friend to a warlord.  

"Are we going to Danalia's village or are we going to find Eve?" Gabrielle hoped that they would go to the Amazon village to check on their Amazon friends, but she more than understood Xena's urgency to find her son, no, their son.  Without looking at Gabrielle as she approached quickly with their saddlebags, and food stuffs bag, Xena answered, "I heard rumors that the Messenger of Eli was in the area at the last town we were in, but we need to get to the Amazon village first and see if we can help them.  Once I call Vengence, she'll help us find Eve and Arex. I know Eve would want to help find her brother; besides, if this guy used to ride with her, she'll be able to help us get him before he has the chance to hurt Arex.  

Xena took the saddlebags and the food stuffs from Gabrielle and put them on Argos, then mounted, and reached down to give Gabrielle an arm up.  "This is one time I wish I hadn't decided to go back to walking" Gabrielle said as she mounted up behind Xena, careful to keep her legs as still as possible so as not to poke Argos with the Sais in her boots.  "I bet Argos does too" "Hey!" was Gabrielle's response to Xena's good natured jab at her.   

On their way to Danalia's village, Xena broached the tender subject of Solan's death carefully.  "Gabrielle, you know Solan's death wasn't your fault don't you? I shouldn't have blamed you for his death. I'm so sorry for all the things I did, and said to you, for the hatred towards you. I don't know how I could have turned on you the way I did. It wasn't your fault, it was Hope's she's to blame, not you, she's the one who killed him".   

After a long minute that made Xena's heart stop, Gabrielle replied almost too softly to hear, "You were right to blame me Xena; if I had let you kill her when she was born,  Solan would still be alive now. I didn't listen to you, I thought I could change her, raise her to be good despite of what she is, who her father is, but I was wrong, and now Solan's dead because of me. Everytime I see Hope, it reminds me of how I betrayed you, defied you, hurt you. How my daughter, killed your son. You have every right to hate me Xena, I hate myself. If only I'd listened to you, your son would be alive, and Arex would have a big brother".  Xena's heart broke to hear Gabrielle's words, to know that she still hurt so much.  

"Gabrielle, I don't hate, I could never hate you. You were only protecting your child from harm, from me, regardless of what she is, Hope is still your daughter, and she always will be. In your heart, you will always love her because she came from you, she's a part of you no matter what she does or says. It wasn't you I hated, it was Hope, but because she wasn't there, I directed all my hatred to you, blamed you for what was her fault. Forgive yourself Gabrielle, and forgive me, please, forgive me".   

A tear fell from Gabrielle's blue/green eyes at Xena's heart felt words; she hugged her warrior, and said, "There's nothing to forgive".  Xena was glad Gabrielle couldn't see the tears she hastily wiped away, her bard had forgiven her. She had Gabrielle's love, one of the most important things in her life next to her three children, with all that in her life, she could fight any battle, defeat any foe, and nothing could stand in her way with love at her side.