“Knock…knock…knock!”   

Renee turned over in bed and pulled the pillow back over her head to hide the sounds of some bastard pounding on her door.  One fucking Saturday off in two months and some jackass comes knocking on the door before noon.  Renee shifted around under the pillow as the knocking continued.  I’m gonna kill who ever is beating the damn door down. She said to herself as she flung the pillow across the room. 

“Knock..knock…knock!”   

“Hold your damn horses,” Renee yelled out as she tumbled out of bed.  She had been tangled in the sheets, which caused her to fall headfirst off the side of the bed.  While trying to pick her bruised body out of the sheet and climb back off the floor, the knocking began again. 

“Knock..knock…knock!”   

Well shit and fuckfire.  What in the hell can be so damned important that they beat my door down? She said as lying flat on her back she finally managed to kick the sheets to one side. 

She stood, naked and angry, as she looked around for her old worn out sweats.  Quickly she dressed, pulling on the torn pants and shirt.  As she walked by the mirror, she noted the top was inside out.  She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking. 

It was silent as she approached the door.  She rose up on tiptoe and peeped through the security hole.  Her single golden eye panned the immediate area but could see no one.  Angrily, she jerked open the door.  As she did, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground.  Renee stepped through the door and looked around.  No one could be seen.  There wasn’t a single person in the immediate area.  The only thing she saw was a dog taking a crap on her lawn.  Gotta so love dogs, she thought as she watched it finish its business and trot off. 

“Well shit.  All that damn knocking and poof, they’re gone without a trace.”  She turned to go into the house when she noted the pamphlet lying on the step. 

“NO WAY!  They did not come pounding on my door at oh dark thirty wanting to give me this fucking pamphlet.”  She grumbled aloud as she picked up the brightly colored paper. 

She glanced at it quickly and read, ‘YOU ARE INVITED’ as she ambled back into her kitchen.  She laid the pamphlet onto the counter to read after she made coffee.  “Hell, I’m up now, might as well stay up.” She said aloud. 

She quickly pulled out the coffee, filter and pot as she made the first of many pots of coffee for her day.  She quickly dumped some coffee into the filter, jammed it back into the pot and filled it with water to the water line.  She shoved it back on the counter and stepped toward the breakfast bar while waiting for it to percolate. 

“Now, where was I?  ‘You are invited.’  To what, some bible-thumping jamboree,” she speculated as she sat on a stool at the counter. 

Opening the pamphlet, she began to read. 

Seeking the adventure of a lifetime?
Looking for excitement?
Want to do what you have only dreamed about?
You are invited to the grand opening of

‘Cuntry’ Capers

“So this is the new club my buds have been talking about.” She mumbled as she read the note.  Renee rose from the stool and walked over to the pot.  It was spitting out the last of its coffee into the glass pot when she walked up.  She lifted the pot and began pouring.  Looking down she noted that her cup was beginning to fill with coffee grains.   

“Dammit to hell.”  She sat the cup down and pulled out the filter.  It had folded over and all the coffee grounds were plastered on, over and outside of the filter.  She dumped the pot and her cup of coffee down the sink in disgust. 

Going to the refrigerator, she yanked it open.  Looking inside she saw little to fill her appetite.  She pulled out a quart of milk, opened the lid and gagged.  The odor was horrendous.  She held it out at arms length as she added it to the mess running out of the sink. 

The only other drinkable items in the refrigerator were some wine coolers and as much as she enjoyed them, it was too early in the morning to be boozing up.   

“Time to hit Krispy Kreme” she said as she fumbled around under the edge of the couch looking for her sneakers.  Not realizing it she slipped on one white sneaker and one gray one.  She jammed her billfold into the waistband of her sweats, grabbed up her keys and headed out the door.  As she walked out the door, she caught a glimpse of herself in the glass panels.  Her hair was uncombed, her shirt was still on inside out, and her face looked like it still had drool in the corner of her mouth.  She reached up and wiped away the crusted spit around her mouth.  She ran her fingers through her hair to make it at least lie down.  Her shirt, she left alone. 

“I’m not getting out.  Just gonna go through the drive through,” she said to herself as she walked toward her car. 

Traffic was light as she pulled out of the apartment complex.  She flipped on the radio, tuned it to her favorite country station and began singing along with Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman.  Renee paid no attention to where she was going or how fast she was driving.  All she could think about was the taste of hot, fresh doughnuts melting against the roof of her mouth.  She imagined the warmth of the sweet taste rolling across her tongue and realized she shivered in a manner similar to when she was sexually excited. 

Before Renee had time to analyze her thoughts, she heard a blasting siren coming up fast behind her.  Holy shit, now who is the poor sucker cop is after, she said as the cycle pulled up beside her.  She glanced out the window and noted she was being signaled to pull over.

“Well hot damn, now what,” she thought as she pulled into the next driveway she came to.  The motorcycle cop pulled up behind her, got off the cycle and pulled out a ticket book.  Renee looked in her rear view mirror and noticed the cop talking into the microphone pinned to the shoulder of the uniform.  The cop jotted down something on the notepad and walked around toward her window. 

“Get out of the car” the cop instructed in a muffled voice. 

“What’s the problem officer,” she asked sweetly. 

“Please lady, just step out of the car,” she was told again. 

“Uhhhh…can you just talk to me through the window?” She asked not wanting to get out of the car dressed as she was. 

“Lady, either you get out of the car or I will remove you from the car,” the officer instructed for the third time. 

“ALL RIGHT, ALL READY!  Don’t get your panties in a wad.  I’m coming,” she said as she pulled her keys from the starter and opened her door. 

Renee stumbled as she pulled her foot out the door and would have fallen had she not been caught tight against the officer’s chest. 

Well, fuck a duck.  This ain’t no man, Renee said to herself as she felt the prominence of two breasts pressed against her face.  She reached up with both hands and pushed herself back away from the officer but not without squeezing both breasts just to be sure they were real. 

Oh, they are real all right, Renee said as she felt herself being spun around and pressed against the hood of the car. 

“Are you going to keep your hands to yourself?” the officer asked 

“Yes, officer, yes.  Please let me up,” Renee begged. 

The officer removed her hands from the back of Renee’s head and back as she stepped back away from her.  Renee slowly straightened up before turning around.  What she saw next astounded her. 

The officer had removed her helmet and the sight that met Renee’s eyes made her mouth water more than the doughnuts she had been craving.  The officer was beautiful, strikingly beautiful.  Her eyes were a deep blue like the bottom of the ocean, mixed with a hint of green.  Her hair was chestnut, thick and long.  It was pulled back and hanging in a single braid down her back.  Her nose was aquiline and regal with a slight bump that looked as though it could have been broken at some time in her life.  It made one believe that beauty was not a vanity for her.  Her cheekbones were high and classic, leading to a noble look.  Her mouth and lips were full and kissable.  Wait, Renee shook her head, why would I think about her lips being kissable, my god; she’s trying to arrest me. 

As she stared at the officer, Renee watched her lips curve into a humorous smile while she ran her eyes down Renee’s body. 

“Humm… did you have trouble dressing this morning?” She said as she waved her hand in a swooping motion down Renee’s body.  “Seems you have your shirt on inside out and you must have another matching pair of mismatched shoes at home.”  Her throaty deep laugh finally rang out as she noted the cowlick sticking straight up on Renee’s head. 

Finally getting her laughter under control, she turned to Renee and said, “Show me your license, registration and insurance please.” 

“Why officer, what have I done?”  Renee asked as she reached for her billfold in her waistband.  

“You were going 45 in a 25 mile speed zone,” the officer answered tersely. 

“NO WAY!” Renee replied at the same time she realized her billfold was not in her waistband.  She fumbled around and shook first her right leg and then her left.  She felt the billfold bump against her left leg where it had slid from her waist to lodge at the rubbery cuff at the bottom of her pants.  She sat down on the ground, pulled her leg into her lap and removed her billfold.  It was at that moment that she looked at her shoes. 

“HOLY SHIT, where is my other white sneaker?”  She replied in a shocked voice as she noted she had on two different sneakers. 

This started the officer laughing again as she stretched out a hand to help Renee to stand back up.  “Well if you don’t know, then I am sure none of us do.  Will you hand me your license now?” 

Renee pulled out her license and while the officer was reading it she slowly leaned back into the car, reaching toward the glove compartment where the registration and insurance cards were kept.  Her pants stretched tight across her buttocks as she leaned in further. 

The officer looked up from Renee’s license and her mouth fell open at the sight before her eyes.  Renee was hunkered over in the car, stretched out toward the glove compartment.  Her sweats were pulled tight across her ass.  There was a jagged hole covering nearly half the right side of her hip.  The material was pulled so tight that the officer was given a great view of Renee’s right pink, smooth ass cheek.  It was softly rounded and made the officer wish that she were in a position where she could reach out and run her hands over the area.  She wanted to feel its heat and softness brush against the palms of her hand.  Shaking her head, the officer looked away, trying to control her own erotic thoughts. 

Renee pulled back out of the car.  She turned and held out the two other cards that the office had asked for.  Quietly the data was reviewed.  Still in silence, the officer wrote out a ticket and handed it to Renee. 

“Ms O’Brien, I’m going to give you a warning ticket based on my belief that you have been distracted by something this morning.  Your appearance adds to my belief.  No sane woman would go out dressed as you are.”  The Officer stated. 

Renee blushed but reached out for the ticket.  As the officer’s fingers brushed hers she could feel a strange warmth pass from the officer’s hands to hers.  She quickly snatched back her hand and the ticket. 

“Thank ….thank you, Officer A.S. Henley,” Renee said as she looked at the officer’s name on the ticket.  She shook her hand hoping to relieve the tingling she still felt from their touch. 

Officer Henley pulled on her helmet, walked back to her cycle and cranked it up.  Over the roar of the motor, Renee heard her say, “Slow down and drive safely.”

Renee watched as the motorcycle rolled on down the road.  Once it was out of site, she started her car, stomped on the gas and peeled out of the driveway, leaving thick black tire streaks behind her.  Within minutes, she pulled into the doughnut shop but found her appetite had nearly disappeared.  She ordered a dozen glazed doughnuts and a large black coffee.  Shortly, she was back at home. 

Sitting at the breakfast counter, Renee again looked at the invitation to Cuntry Capers.  Why not? She thought to herself.  I’ve got nothing else to do and after this morning, I’d like to feel someone in my arms for a change.

 **********

 Evening rolled around and Renee dressed with more care than usual.  She pulled on a pair of skintight jeans, tucked in a black sleeveless tee shirt, and slipped into a white outer shirt.  She slid her belt through the loops and fastened it with a large center buckle.  Renee drew on her dark brown boots, looked in the mirror and brushed her hair.  She kept her ash blonde hair trimmed short on top with a longer tail streaming down her back and over her ears.  She checked to be sure that no stray hairs stuck up on top.  Once she was satisfied with her appearance, Renee applied a light touch of Rodeo perfume and headed out of her apartment.

'Cuntry' Capers sat on the edge of town.  A huge parking lot was already nearly full.  The building was a rambling old one-story building that used to be a large welding shop.  The inside was unobstructed by beams leaving the entire building open.  The bar was horseshoe shaped and stood at the entry to the club.  Restroom signs flashed in the back left corner.  Tables were scattered around the room with a large floor are cleared and covered with wood flooring for dancing.  An elevated stage stood against the far wall nearly center to the length of the building.  Tonight a disk jockey reigned court over the stage as song after song of country music spilled forth. 

Renee entered the lounge and looked around.  Not seeing anyone she knew, she walked over to the bar.  She ordered a Long Island Iced Tea.  The bartender smiled at her and sat down the drink down. 

“You’re new here, ain’t ya, honey?” she said as she wiped a spot of water from the bar. 

“Yes.  Am I that obvious?” Renee asked as she picked up her drink. 

“Well, little darling.  I notice all beautiful women that come through the door,” she replied. 

“Thank you,” Renee replied while blushing. 

“Let me know if you see anyone you like and I’ll try to introduce you.  By the way, I’m Pat the bartender.  They say I am a wizard with drinks.  If there is a special flavor you like, let me know and I’ll concoct you a special drink.” 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” Renee said as she sat her glass down. 

Renee sipped her drink as she looked around the room.  She saw no men and realized her friends were right.  This was strictly a woman’s joint.  The music picked up and several couples strolled onto the dance floor and began dancing to a lively two-step tune.  Onlookers watched and cheered as the volume picked up.  Renee could hear the boots stamping against the wood as the dancers became more involved in the dance.  Laughter and shouts of greetings were heard above the loud music. 

Renee’s gaze circled the room and returned in time to see the next person to enter the lounge.  She choked on the sip of drink she was taking, began coughing which caused her to fall sideways off her stool.  Strong warm arms encircled her body and sat her back on the stool.  Taking several deep breaths, Renee finally managed to say, “Thank you.” 

Looking up at her savior, she looked once more into the beautiful eyes of the motorcycle officer.  She drew in several deep breaths as she let her eyes run over Officer Henley’s body. 

Henley was dressed in black leather, soft supple black leather from head to toe.  It started with a wide brimmed cowboy hat sitting forward on her head.  It was leather, solid black, except for a small flared feather in the front brim of the hat.  Looking lower, Renee saw she was wearing a leather vest without a shirt underneath it.  She could see the tops of Henley’s breasts rising above the vest.  Her skin tone was honey gold.   

She wore a mid thigh length black jacket covering the vest.  Her pants were leg hugging black leather, looking like she had to have been poured into them.  A black belt circled her waist.  A large silver buckle closed it over her zipper.  The buckle was the only color in her outfit.  It was silver with a gold-coiled braided rope centered in the middle of the buckle.  Looking at her feet, Renee saw glossy black cowboy boots completing the over all outfit. 

“Hi, nice to see you again in less strained circumstances,” Henley said as she smiled at Renee. 

“Yes it is,” Renee managed to speak out. 

“Let’s start over again, shall we?” Henley asked. 

“Hi, my friends call me Ash. May I buy you a drink?” 

Renee grinned, knowing full well that Ash knew her name.  “I’m Renee.  Sure that would be great.”   

Ash turned toward Pat saying, “Pat, fix her up with another Long Island.  I’ll have a coke and Windsor, please.” 

“Sure thing, Ash.  Coming right up.” Pat replied as she pulled glasses from the overhead rack. 

“Man, she jumped on your order, didn’t she?”  Renee remarked as she watched Pat sit the drinks in front of them. 

“Well…I have an advantage.” Ash replied with a smirk.   

“Come on, tell me,” Renee begged. 

“OK.  'Cuntry' Capers is my joint.” Ash replied with pride evident in her tone of voice. 

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope…all mine.  This has been a dream of mine for years.  I’ve finally managed to complete twenty years on the force and as of the end of the month, this will be my new job.” 

“Congratulations,” Renee said as she looked carefully at Ash again.  She speculated on how old she thought Ash must be.  Her thoughts must have been transparent as Ash continued speaking. 

“I’ll be forty-one next month and decided if I was going to change careers, I needed to do it before I get to old.  Voila! Here I am,” she finished as she held up her hands in a sweeping gesture indicating all was hers. 

“Sweet….  I’ve worked as a freelance writer for years so I know what you mean about having something of your own and not having to conform to stringent rules and regulations anymore.”  Renee answered. 

The music swung into a slow waltz.  The dancers cleared the floor except for a few couples who swayed together to the rhythm of the music. 

Ash turned toward Renee and asked, “Would you care to dance?” 

“I’d love to,” she said as she hopped off her stool. 

Ash removed her heavy jacket and handed it over the bar to Pat who had been halfway listening in on their conversation.  Pat winked at Ash and grinned as she took the jacket behind the bar. 

Renee felt like drooling as she looked at the perfect body before her eyes.  Muscles rippled along firm biceps as Ash pulled her arms back from handing her jacket to Pat..  Her shoulders were broad and straight.  She held herself upright and even from all the years of working on the force.  Her waist dipped in just the right amount on either side.  Her hips were softly rounded and compact, well outlined by her tight fitting pants.  Her legs were heavily muscled and firm beneath the supple leather material. 

Ash reached out and hooked a finger beneath Renee’s head, lifting her eyes back up to a level with hers. “Like what you see?” she asked as she smiled into Renee’s dark golden eyes.

“Oh yes, very much so,” Renee replied huskily. 

“Come on, let’s dance before I grab you right here,” Ash stated as she reached out and grasped Renee’s hand, pulling her toward the dance floor.

The lights were dimmed and the music played softly in the background as the DJ took a well-deserved break.  Very few couples remained on the floor and those that did, were swaying quietly to the music.

Ash turned and pulled Renee into her arms and began dancing.  What should have been a smooth process suddenly became very awkward as they stumbled over one another and stepped on each other’s toes.   Finally, Ash stopped dead in the center of the dance floor. 

“Renee?” 

“Yes?” Renee answered with a quizzical expression on her face.

“Do you mind if I lead.  We both can’t lead or we are going to continue this push and pull routine until both of us are unable to walk.” Ash said as she looked down onto Renee’s face.

“Oh damn. I am so used to being the lead I totally forgot.  Sure, no problem.  Let’s try again.”

Once again, Ash took Renee into her arms and began circling the dance floor.  At first Renee felt out of step but with Ash’s hand firmly on her back guiding her around she soon loosened up to the soft seductive beat of the music.  Once the routine was established and Renee was able to follow Ash’s lead, Ash pulled her in closer to her body.  She wanted to feel the bundle of energy that was in her arms.  She wanted to feel Renee’s warmth pressed against the front of her, smell her scent, taste her neck and rub her hands over her curvaceous backside.  She did just that.

Meanwhile, Pat lounged against the counter and watched Ash and Renee moving seductively around the dance floor.  One of the servers walked up to the bar.

“Damn, Pat.  I don’t believe in the past few months I have ever seen the boss dance with any of the customers.  Hell, I thought maybe she wasn’t interested in women after all,” the server remarked as she waited on Pat to hand her another pitcher of beer.

“You’re right.  Ash has not dated or been with a woman in the eighteen months that I have known her.  As close as we have worked together to get her bar going, I would have been aware of any one she was seeing.  Kind of nice isn’t it, to know she is human after all.” Pat answered as she loaded the tray with a pitcher and fresh frosted mugs.

“Sure is.  God, they look great together too.”  The server remarked as she turned once more to glance out on the dance floor.

“WHAT THE HELL!” The server exclaimed as she watched the peculiar activity on the dance floor.

Ash and Renee were pushing away from each other but seemed to be attached at the waist.  Ash was laughing big booming guffaws while Renee was turning all shades of red.

Pat jumped over the counter and headed to the dance floor.  The struggle continued as she walked up.  On closer range, she could see that Ash and Renee were definitely hooked together at the waist.  Somehow, one or both of their belt buckles had linked together while dancing.  They were hooked pelvis to pelvis without any room to reach between them to unhook the buckles. 

Ash was trying to hold Renee still, to prevent her from pulling backward and causing them to fall to the floor.  She was laughing so hard she could not speak to Renee to tell her to hold still so she simply wrapped her arms around her and pulled her up tight against her chest until her laughter died out.

“I don’t think this is funny,” she could hear the muffled voice of Renee against her vest.

“Hey, it’s not often I am hooked to the prettiest woman in the room.  Stand still and let me enjoy it,” Ash answered while still laughing. 

“Sure you are one to speak.  At least you can look over my head and see where we need to go.  All I see are your breasts…uhhh.. I mean vest.”  Renee replied in a mortified tone.

Ash laughed harder as she realized what Renee had said and pulled her even tighter, pressing her harder against her breasts.

Pat walked up and said, “Boss, what in the hell is going on?”

Ash looked over at Pat and stated, “Our belts are hooked together and neither of us can see how to unhook them.”

Pat moved closer and tried to peer between them.  “I can’t see a damn thing.  Can you lean back away from each other more?”

Ash placed her hands on Renee’s shoulders and pushed them apart.  Pat leaned in closer and stuck her head between them.  Renee flinched, causing Ash’s hands to slip.  They sprung back together trapping Pat’s head between them.

“GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH.  Let me the fuck out of here.” Pat yelled as she grabbed the backs of both their pants and tried to pull them apart.  This only caused Ash to laugh until tears flowed down her cheeks.  Renee bumped back and forth trying to break loose but only succeeded in making Pat holler louder.

Finally, Ash grabbed her again by the shoulders.  “STOP!” she yelled while holding back a giggle.  “Here,” she said as she pushed herself and Renee further apart.  When the pressure released from her head, Pat stood up quickly. 

“Well shit, you two.  I ought to leave your asses out here for that little trick.”  Pat said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her knife.  “OK, ladies. Whose belt do I cut?”

“Mine…hers,” they both spoke in unison.

“Ash, hold Renee.”  Pat instructed as she carefully slid her knife beneath Renee’s belt in back.  The leather cut quickly causing the belt to snap in two.  Ash lost her hold on Renee and Renee tumbled backward, landing flat on her ass.  That only set off the laughter again as Ash reached out and pulled her back onto her feet.

“I must say, dancing with you is a true experience.” Ash reached out and gently dusted off the seat of Renee’s pants. “Would you like to sit down now?”

As if I could, Renee huffed under her breath.  “Yes.  Please let’s do.”

After having one more drink and getting their wind back, Renee stood, saying she had to leave while she was still able to drive.  Ash looked at her and smiled.  “Thanks for coming in and don’t be a stranger.”

Renee looked at her for several long seconds and then said, “Oh I don’t think you are going to have to worry about that.  You’ll probably be taking a contract out on me to get rid of me now that I know what the place is like.”

Reaching into her pocket, Renee fumbled for her car keys.  Well shit.  Now where the fuck are my keys?  She patted each pocket without feeling them.  She glanced back onto the dance floor but did not see them.

Ash looked over at Renee and asked, “Is everything all right?”

“Hell no.  I can’t find my keys.”  She answered in an agitated voice.

“When did you have them last?” Ash asked calmly and quietly.

“When I got out of the car.”

“Then let’s start there.  Pat, hand me the flashlight.”  Ash reached out, took the light from Pat, and then followed Renee out into the parking lot.  Going directly to Renee’s car, Ash turned on the light and panned around inside the car.  There lying on the seat was the set of keys.  The car was locked tight as a drum.

“Of all the fucking luck.  I should have stayed in bed from the get-go.  Nothing but trouble all day long,” Renee moaned beside Ash.

“Hey, don’t worry.  I’ll take you home.  Pat can close up for me.” 

“I can’t let you do that.  Surely, it is out of your way.”

“Well to be honest, no it isn’t.  It so happens that I live in the same apartment complex as you do.  I noticed it when I saw your address this morning.”  Ash answered.

Renee stood silently for a few seconds before accepting the ride home.  They walked over to Ash’s truck where Ash opened the passenger door and helped Renee inside.

“I’ll be right back, Renee.  Let me tell Pat what’s happening and get her to lock up.”  She turned and trotted quickly back into the bar.

Renee thought over the series of events that marred her day.  Nothing seemed to have gone right except…her meeting with Ash.  She felt that this had the makings of a more meaningful relationship and she was willing for the first time in her life to take it nice and slow.  She smiled softly to herself as she recalled how it felt being held against Ash.  She knew that she desired to experience that and more as time passed. Thinking to herself as she waited on Ash, she realized today was just the beginning.  She knew that sleep would come easily tonight as she dreamed of Ash. She thought of how turbulent the day had been and now, at the end of the day, was satisfaction and a true peace of mind.  She looked forward to building her relationship with Ash and as they drove home, planned to ask her to breakfast.  Only time would tell whether they continued to see each other or not.  Today was a good start and tomorrow would be better.

The End