No disclaimer really needed.
No characters.
No sex.
No Violence.
Just a ramble that popped out of my mind from somewhere. It's short and very depressing.

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The confusion of it all is really quite annoying. No clue where I stand if I stand anyplace at all. I have given myself yet it is not enough. Not enough for anyone to see me. I try to step back and take in the whole situation but it keeps tugging me back in because I want what I once had.

But the environment is very different. The terrain is like nothing I had ever envisioned I would go through in my life. Things are not what they seem yet they are very familiar.

Certain names and faces are everywhere reminding me of the past, but they are the reason the future looks so odd. They are also the ones who won't let me go. They latch on and make me feel like nothing is ever good enough. That what I have done is worthless. Yet I know that is wrong, but I have been told this and reminded of this so I start to believe it.

My head is going in one direction and my heart is going in a totally different direction. Which one do I chose? The heart will lead me to freedom and pain. My head will keep me safe in my own little word where no one gets in. Well most of the time. There is a few who sneak in under the barbed wire and brick wall, but they don't stay long. They find out that I don't have enough. Never enough.

Why should that bother me? Why should I care that the person I am looking at in the mirror is not who I see in my head? That person is a lie. I am a lie. Everything is a lie.

So why continue? Why be here when nothing is right and everything including myself is a lie? Why not just disappear into oblivion?

Well that is an easy question to answer. Oblivion is actually a lonelier place. I would actually be surrounded by nothing and I would be nothing in reality. Not just in the minds of others and in my own mind. So it is better to be alone with people then to be alone without them to remind me.

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