Wizzy 

Wizzy’s Wackyweed.....HELL ON WHEELS

I asked Mullaney “PHAIR” to ramble for us this week.....heheheee. Thank you again for takin’ the time to share this with us Mullaney! But next time please add more detail to the events, cuz now I gotta know how some of this came to be and what lead up to it....hehehehee!

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a bad person.  It’s just that I’ve been asked to leave more than a few places in my time.  Misunderstands, each and every one of them.  Well, most of them.  Okay, a few were indeed misunderstands.  The rest were…, well, me.  What can I say?  People either tolerate me or toss my sorry behind out the door. 

I’ve started a list:   

St. Mark’s Elementary School – There was a fundamental disagreement between the parties.  My parents and I thought I was clever and the teachers preferred to talk to doorknobs rather than me.  The believed the doorknobs understood more than me. 

Irish Step Dancing Class – Some folks have two left feet.  I envy them.

Mount Alvernia Academy – By and large, they agreed with the folks over at St. Mark’s.  It smelled like a conspiracy to me.   

The Carney Hospital – A relative tossed me out of Grandma’s room  because she wanted to pray over her.  What’d she think, my head would spin or I’d spew green soup because she invoked the Lord.  I  might not be faithful but I ain’t Satan either.  Satan would be taller and have horns.    

A Fall CYO Dance – Big Ooops.  See Irish Step Dancing Class for details. 

A Transcendental Meditation session – I couldn’t stop laughing.  Even now  when I think of it I start to laugh.  ‘Mind over matter,’ right. 

Sardi’s – “Order or leave!”  The waiter demanded with more than a hint of  annoyance.  By the way, tap water is not considered ordering at the classic NY bistro.

Radio City Music Hall – Here’s a fun fact.  You can’t eat hot dogs in the lobby of Radio City.

The Penny Arcade – Sometimes skee ball machines need a good (loud) talking to.

Tiki Gardens – Totally my boyfriend’s fault.  He was such an ass.  Of  course, I couldn’t stop laughing because I thought he was soooo funny.  The owner didn’t agree with me.   

The Maxwell Library – Whistling is not allowed even during the holiday season.

The Pub – The manager grabbed me by the shirt collar and back of my  pants in the traditional bum’s rush right out the door.  So much for brotherly love.  I think it was deeply rooted resentment because Dad liked me better, nanananana.     

Mom’s Christmas Party – My own Mother told me to leave.  Now, you gotta admit that’s cold.  There’s one squirrel baffling bird feeder she’ll never get to unwrap.   

Graceland – They are not joking around when they ask you nicely not to touch ANYTHING.  It especially goes for the bar stools.  Trust me, don’t try to spin around on them.

Smithsonian First Ladies’ Dresses Exhibit Hall – Never ask to see the dress Jackie wore in Dallas.  ‘Nuff said?

University Hospital, Boston – I got laid off so they could install four flag poles.  I’m less valuable than aluminum.

The Guggenheim Museum - Very strict ‘no picture taking’ policy which one should not trifle with.  I was surprised to learn their method of removal was not at all avant-garde.  They stuck with the tried and true, take ‘em by the arm and show ‘em the door.    

The Main Dinning Room at the Ritz Carlton NY – The management felt I  clashed with the décor.  While the room was tastefully decorated, I was not.

Well, I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few.  Tasers can mess with your memory.  But, now that I’m keeping a list all future events can be accurately documented.  I’ll update you from time to time provided Wizzy lets me come back.   

phair  p.phair@comcast.net

Visit her page phair and be carried to her website

I want to thank Mullaney “PHAIR” for rambling for us this week.....heheheee. This fits right in with someone askin me not to long ago how often I get in trouble either at work or where have you....See....I am not the only one who gets busted for things.....Thank you again for takin’ the time to share this with us Mullaney! And my dear you can ramble anytime ya wanna! I hope someday we can get more DETAILS on some of these escapades of yours! LMMFAO

Later taters,

Wizzy