Wizzy 

Wizzy’s Wackyweed.....HELL ON WHEELS

Bob the Weather Guy

by Ali Vali

First off, thanks to the Sandbox for giving me this opportunity to ramble. Considering it’s one of my favorite things, it was a real treat. Hey I live in the South, it’s like an art form you know. After thinking a bit on what I was going to talk about, I decided to try and answer a question I get a lot. Where do I get the ideas for some of my stories? That’s a popular one, but for some readers who really like some of my secondary characters, they wonder where those guys come from.  

A good answer to those questions would be, when I’m off my meds all kind of people pop into my head…kidding people, kidding. Actually I was telling one of my beta readers the other day that I had an interesting experience recently that would make a great story. Now mind you, I’m not complaining here, I’m not, especially after having some friends who lost their homes after Hurricanes Ivan and Jeanne. But what I found on September 15^th and 16^th is that weather makes people do strange things. 

On those days there was this big thing named Ivan brewing in the Gulf of Mexico and the Mayor of New Orleans, that would be Ray Nagin, was telling everyone to leave the city. He said it, and it made sense at the time, so we decided to take him up on it and left town. Because we did, I missed the local weathermen and women covering the storm. A truly unique experience if you’ve had the pleasure of living through it. You have to understand New Orleans a bit in hurricane mode to know what I’m talking about. One thing that’s helpful is everyone rushes to the grocery, this time around being no different, and the first thing that runs out is the beer. Add this to all the bread, peanut butter, deviled ham and water you can carry, can make anything bearable. 

Now I don’t know how weather men and women act in other cities, when I’m on vacation I try not to do so when there’s going to be strange weather patterns going on while I’m there. So who knows what they act like in a crisis situation. At home, on the Fox station we have Bob Breck. Granted usually, as a normal person, I’m allergic to Fox News, but for comical relief in the aforementioned crisis, I like to find ways to lower my stress level. How can a weather guy be comical you ask? 

The last big storm that threatened our city was a big bruiser named George, and Bob, the guy with the bad toupee on Fox, actually got on television and said, and I quote, “If you can hear my voice you are going to die.” Call me weird but I thought that was funny. Well it was as funny as the woman on the NBC channel who kept throwing herself against the map with her arms spread out to show in dramatic fashion the size of the storm and why you should run like hell. The mayor and other city officials though did not share my sense of warped humor.  

The last I heard of Bob before we evacuated this time around was his screaming about people staying home, yes you heard me right, the mayor’s telling people to leave, Bob is telling people to stay put. Seems he was upset about the traffic situation and the city’s lack of planning. With a little regret I turned the television off and we left and headed to this little town way inland named Bunkie Louisiana. I sat on the wide porch of a old fashioned southern hotel named The Bailey with a big glass of Grey Goose and cranberry juice and watched the other visiting New Orleanians walking around with their favorite beverages. I’m sure we were all thinking the same thing. We wondered what Bob was up to and if anyone had told him his hairpiece was a little off kilter. 

The main thing was, we were out of the range of his voice, so we could all count ourselves lucky death wasn’t in our cards just yet. So for all of you who sometimes ask where I get the ideas for some of my characters, my best answer is – I live in a city full of them.

Ali Vali

terrali20@yahoo.com