Ya know I sent out a request for some ditties to make up a ramble for Halloween, when doing this I was down right scared as to the replies I would get. So first I will tell you about growing up in a small town in northern Wisconsin then I will share the other writer’s stories and ditties as to a Halloween experience they had....

I wasn’t more then 17....hummm....ok so I was 20ish.... ack....  ok my LATER 20’s on my last

I wasn’t more then 17....hummm....ok so I was 20ish.... ack....  ok my LATER 20’s on my last “Gate Night Raid.” 

Now “Gate Night” is the night before Halloween,( you do wild stuff the night before so you can collect candy on the real night) when you go out and toilet paper someone’s house (ask my best friend Pam, we got caught one year trashing our ‘Inglisch’ teachers tree’s! That’s after he slipped in dog shit and got his neck rung on the clothes line in his yard chasing us)

Anywhoo....back to Gate night.... every year a group of us would get together and pick one city block, we would proceed to “steal” all decorations as well as ALL “pumkins” off every house on BOTH sides of this block (Mom you may wanna go watch TV instead of readin’ this ramble) now we did not smash them or damage them in anyway, we just, humm, moved them to another location, we would pick one house and set ALL the decorations from the other city block to a city block maybe 2 or 3 blocks away(depending on how cold it was)on someone’s front yard! Like I said we did not really “steal” them we just “Moved” them! 

There was one time in particular I recall we went to “steal” some lawn decorations and the were nailed down, so while struggling to “steal” them to move them to another lawn this old geezer came out yelling at the top of his lungs at us! But come 3 am we managed to move them anyway! 

Another favorite memory of mine is when we would “knock and run” which means we would(about 15 to 20 of us) surround a house with lights still on at dark fall and then beat on the windows and doors then run like hell for we got caught! Well brother Bryan bless his heart got to laughing so hard he tripped in the new snow we had gotten that day, as this guy we had just beat on (his house silly)... wait let me back up Bryan an I took the side of the house this guys shadow could be seen sitting in a chair readin a book, when we all pounded on his house the book went flying and he came out of his chair like he had been shot!) Ok so he came flying out of the house in nothing....an I do mean nothing more then a pair of flimsy fruit of the looms! Now we took one look over our shoulders as we ran that we were done for seein’ this guy bare foot running behind us swearing and swinging like a pair of  elephant ears in about -32 degree weather!  

Bryan tripped and slid across the street stopping with in inches of a car’s bumper, so he flips over and pulls himself under the car to hide! Well DUH...the guy saw him do it as he wasn’t more then 20 feet or behind us. I kept going until I was sure I wasn’t being chased and stopped to look at this guys butt up in the air, his head under the car swearing like a banshee at poor brother Bryan! Who just crawled out from under the car and walked away! I am glad he did not live in our town, but a neighboring tow instead, as the guy got a close up look at his face and being in such a small town I am sure he would have recognized Bryan!

I have a little brother....heheheheheee( insert evil grin here) and well one year again in my 20’s I wanted to go trick or treating....(yes I refuse to grow up, as I found out these last few weeks life’s just to damned short!) Anywhoo I convinced my little brother to dress up with me and go (I think I told him something to the affect of I would not buy him any more playboy mags if he did not!) I got blamed for those mags! Mom found them in the basement game room, Nope Mom they were Dan’s dirty mags not mine and yeah I know he was only 12!)Opps side tracked.  

So we went and got a lot of candy so we decided to head home when we hit one last house, walked up to the door and rang the bell, Dan held out his bag and the woman dropped candy in his bag and turned to me (I was dressed in Army fatigues, go figure) the wench turn to me and asked (I will never forget this!!!) she said... 

“Aren’t you a little OLD to be trick or treating?”

Well hell I had just been busted for the first time EVER!!!! What could I do???? Well let me tell you....I crossed my eyes and rolled my tongue into a ball in my mouth and as I said trick or treat spit flew from my mouth as I acted like a 5 year old window licker on a short bus who was trapped in a 20ish body! Needless to say my brother acted like he always does, nothing fazes him, he held out his bag again as I did mine an we got a lot more candy! As she closed the door I recall hearing her tell someone inside the house how sweet she thought it was that a cute little boy like my brother was taking his retarded sister out trick or treating! If she only knew the bribe I use to get him to go! Gotta love porno mags!!!!

One year when my three sisters and I went Trick or Treating, it was pitch black and there were many kids out walking with their parents at the same time.  We would meet the same kids either coming or going to the houses.  Many of us wore the same store-bought costumes.  It was growing late and Mother was hurrying us along.  Near one of the last houses, she finally reached out and grabbed my younger sister by the hand dragging her along at a much faster pace.  We could only snicker amongst ourselves because we knew she had the wrong person and not one of us was going to let her know.  We were tired of our little sister and ready to trade her in on maybe a newer, sweeter model.  It only took a few steps before the new kid set off a loud wail, which made Mother stop, remove her mask and quickly realize she had the wrong child.  It was an easy enough swap, as our sister was still on the last doorstop yelling at the top of her voice too.  What a shame we didn’t get our treat as expected that night.  Ah but there was always cowboys and Indians and we could tie her to a stake and leave her in the broiling sun; but that’s another story entirely.

One other fond memory I have is the time we lived near a Catholic parish house.  The good Fathers never gave out candy but they always gave new, shiny nickels.  I can begin to tell you how many times we must have circled the block to get more nickels.  I believe we finally got enough to pay our way into the show, buy an all-daylong sucker, a bag of popcorn and a drink.  Yes, those nickels certainly came in handy but you would think after awhile that the Father dishing out the coins would have finally realized we were frequent repeats and not just the same four costumes repeating endlessly.

One of the worst nightmares I can remember on Halloween was the sick sadist maniac that would load the candy with harmful trash to cause hurt to the children. I am talking about lacing the candy with razor blades, nails and pins.  For a number of years, the local hospital would run a free x-ray screening of all candy if you would only bring it to the hospital.  There was also the golden rule of never eating candy that was not individually wrapped and still sealed in its original container.  To this day, that is the only way I will eat candy if some one gives it to me.

I was I think around eight, and decided I didn’t want to take my jack o lantern trick or treating. I took a big paper bag for the mother load. I did good too! That bag was brimming, but sometime during the night my bag got a hole in it. I left a candy trail nearly a mile long. When I got home I realized I'd lost half of my treats. I was one pissed off kid. Not too exciting huh. lol

Oh!! About six couples went out on Halloween one year. I remember dancing with a girl dressed as a cat, and her face was painted with whiskers and all. During the dance she leaned in and kissed me...not a friendly kiss. When I returned from the dance floor my girlfriend was furious. My mouth was covered in white and black paint. The cat had left her mark.

Ok I have just got to add this. My Gramma called me tonight out of the blue, it was late for her back home and I was worried something was wrong. But to my luck I got to see a side of her I don’t often get to see. She told me some of the things she pulled as a kid with her brothers on Halloween night! So I would like to take a second and share them with you!

She told of how my Uncle Herb and ( I think she said Uncle Dwight? Or was it Dean, or Irving or maybe it was Uncle Marvin? Well she had 6 brothers!) Uncle Marvin and a cousin Gordy knew the boys down the road were coming to play a trick on them so my Uncle Herb hid by the tall pole at the front of their house as my Uncle Marvin and Gordy and a few others hid in the field and waited for the boys to climb over the fence to tip the out-house over (I think Gramma called it a Privy) Uncle Herb had a shot gun and while the boys climbed into the yard my other Uncles went and let all the air out of the tires so the escape wouldn’t be a good one. When they got in the front yard my Uncle fired the shotgun into the air scaring the snot out of the boys and down the road they tore. To a car with 4 flat tires!

Another one she told was how my Grampa and his brothers would go and move the out-house up a foot or so, so that the hole would be in direct line of the back side of the tiny out-house and when the boys down the road came to tip it over one of them would fall down in the hole and into the waste! And I thought egging someone’s house was bad!

But the one that got me to giggling the most was how her an my Uncles were on their way to Aunt Myrtles house for dinner on Halloween night, well they decided to stop an play a trick on the older folks who lived behind the cheese factory! So they stopped the car and Gramma got out and set the pumpkin pies she had baked earlier on the front seat of the car (Can you see where this one is going?) They ran in the yard and tipped over the log cutter, well it made such a racket that guy came running out of the house and started yelling at them.  

Gramma and the rest of the kids took off running jumped into the car and sped away, well they had forgotten about the pumpkin pies on the seat, the poor pies were smashed flat!  And stuck to their.... you know what, I would love to known what she told the rest of the family at dinner as to what happened to the pies!

Now at my Gramma’s age I find this funny due to the fact its not often you hear of funny and slightly evil things she did growing up. And the fact I have this image of my Gramma who is, in her grandkids minds, an Angel!

I will have to ask my mother for a few of her favorite memories.... I bet she tells of the time we took our goat to the church Halloween party and it crapped all over the church floors. Or how my oldest brother dressed up in a woman’s costume for the church party and it was too small for him and mom put Elmer’s glue in his belly button and added silver glitter! I have that picture somewhere here I should hunt it up as it’s funny to see this big butch bear in drag! Or the time the Kriskovich family was going to give me a baby calf as a treat for Halloween!

I woke up this morning to a cloudy drizzly day and had a craving for my daughters' famous homemade organic vegetable and beef stew. Yes even the beef is home grown.

We went out to my favorite fruit and vegetable stand which is about thirty miles from where we live. I bought my normal monthly supply of organic fruits and vegetables plus organic munchies and stuff for the family.

I also stocked up on 25lbs and 50 lbs bags of onions, carrots, turnips and potatoes etc to help hold us over during the winter months. We got lucky because their last day to be open for the season is this Sunday.

There was a bus load of school children, first and second graders, there to pick out their favorite pumpkins. The owner of the farm took them on a wagon ride, which was pulled by two beautiful black horses, hay and blankets lined the wagon bed, out to the fields to pick out their choice pumpkins.

The children were laughing, smiling and having a gay ole time. They ran around finding just the right pumpkin. Some were bigger than the children themselves. Boots and hands were covered in mud but big smiles were on their small faces.

When arriving back to the loading area the children got to ride in a caterpillar cart. The caterpillar cart is constructed of a dozen fifty gallon steel barrels cut in half that were painted green and accordion style sewer pipes attached to the sides of the barrels to forms legs. Each barrel was attached to the next with heavy chains and each had small black wheels to form feet. Pulling it was a small lawn mower tracker designed to be the head of the caterpillar with big black eyes and two antennas. Inside of each barrel were safe places for the children to sit.

After taking them on a ride around the farm they got to explore the corn stock maze. The corn stock maze is an area made up of dried corn stocks that were designed in the shape of a maze. Inside, children attempted to find their way from one end to the other while encountering live human scarecrows and pumpkin goblins hidden within.

It was a grand day for all and the stew turned out wonderful.

Heres one from T Stratton....who was no more then 18 but what’s a few years difference in the egging’s???? What you all wanna bet ifin I drove up to her house she would go with me trick or treating? Hell WHO wouldn’t go?? LMAO

Okay folks I was not some 20 year old hitting poor folks up for candy... (SHAME ON YOU WIZZY)  I was an 18 year old who went to a haunted house. First I should tell you that I don’t like it when someone touches me when I don’t know it’s coming... On with the story. A few friends of mine and I went to a haunted house... I was so freaking hyped, that might have been the beer… well anyway we made our way through the DUMB Shit they had... (Should have gone to the Haunted House that is open 365 days a year... no lie... Mount Carroll Illinois.) And as we are heading out this dude grabs my arm. And me being me jumps ten feet and with lightening like speed elbowed the dude in the face... Well the dumb shit didn’t let go... so I did it again... he got the hint after the second blow… 

He kind of got a weeee bit mad, who would blame him?? With his crazy ass mask still on he chased us out into the parking lot. Where we made our escape….

Okay here is another… this one is about me when I was the sweet age of 13. The saying is “Trick or Treat” well my gang of around 9 friends, go hit ever freaking house in the town… we had pillow cases FULL. 

 We knock at this one door and say “Trick or Treat” this old lady opens the door and says “Awww look at you ladies” I guess I should tell you that they all were either dressed as Madonna or they wore Huge black garbage bags over their bodies.. UNREAL they though they were sooooooo cool… not me though. I was some freak killer with fake blood dripping everywhere. WAY COOOL!!!! ) back to the old lady… She invites us in and says “pick whichever you want.” And held out a bowl filled to the rim with TOOTHBRUSHES!!!!!!! Can you imagine... The nerve... we wanted MORE candy... not some freaking TOOTHBRUSH!!… Needless to say after we left they were egged… No treat so they were tricked…

This one is from Ri the Bard for someone who’s so mild and sweet she can catch you off guard when you least expect it!!! Let’er scream Ri....

When I was 16 I was very active in theater. The JC's came to our school and asked us to appear in a haunted house near the local college called the Factory of Nightmares. I got two parts. I got to play a whipped lady and I was zombie guide, it was really cool because a make up artist from Universal Studios did our faces. 

My Friend Hugh was in it too and before the paying guests came he picked up the whip and said with wicked look, "Ya want to practice?" I said "Sure." I was really serious about my acting so I thought a little rehearsal would be a good idea. So when poor Hugh hit my well padded back with the soft whip I screamed my head off like I was hit. I never saw my usually calm friend turn so pale. He thought he really hurt me. 

Part of me loved it because I sounded like it really hurt and I fooled him. Part of me felt bad for my friend because he really was shocked and worried. It was my first experience in the power of my ability as an actress cause it wasn't just the scream Hugh said it was the look of pure pain on my face.