Wizzy 

Wizzy’s Wackyweed...Welcome to hell on wheels...

Interview with DJ Belt
by Wizz
 

It always fun to see what DJ will have to say... this is one of my dear buddy ole pally’s and I love ya DJ!!!!!!!!!! YOU DAH BOMB!!!!! So let’er rip!

Okay, Wizzy– here’s the answers to the interview questions.  Hoo, boy.  I tried to condense some of them, as often, the same question was asked several times in different ways.  So, here goes: 

1.  How long have you been writing creative fiction?  When did you start and why?

Oh, gosh– I started in 2001.  You might call it, “The Spaced-out Odyssey”.  I was a history major in college, and my prof challenged me to answer a particular question about medieval English culture by a paper.  I decided to use a short story format.  It was a total blast to write, not like scholarly papers, which drive me nuts with footnoting, etc.  I loved it.  The rest is history (or not... by the way, she loved it and I got an “A”.)

2.  What got you interested in writing Xena fan fiction?

I’m not much of a TV watcher, but got hooked on Xena after one episode.  When I decided to experiment with writing fiction, I sought a venue and an audience.  Guess where I found it?

3.  What color’s ur tooth brush?

What?  Heck, I don’t know.  Great.  Now, I’m going to worry about it until I get up and see.  Hang on.  Okay, I’m back.  It’s blue. 

4.  If you could be any super hero, who would you be and why?

Do I gotta be a superhero?  Can’t I be Lex Luthor instead?  Oh, I know.  Captain America, because he rides a motorcycle.  I’d rather do that than fly.  Superman scares me.  I mean, everything he does is super powered.  I pity his neighbors when he gets a case of gas!  Probably shatters every window in the house.  Talk about your WMD!

5.  Do you wipe with your right hand or left, or do you use toilet paper?

Jeez, I can see where this is going.  What?  They make paper for that?  You’re putting me on, right?  Heck, I thought that roll was a note-pad, for when I’m contemplating the really great questions of life, such as Relativity theory or my grocery list or where I put my car keys.

6.  What’s ur bra size?

Aha, I know who put you up to this question, don’t I?  Actually, whatever fits on my head.  I cut ‘em in half and Viola!  We have a beanie with a chin-strap.  Stick a propeller on top, and I’m so cool.

7.  How do you have time to write so many stories at once?

I don’t have a life.  No, actually, I have ghost writers.  Hehehe... I keep ‘em in the basement and throw ‘em a scrap of food and a pack of smokes every now and then.  Hey, it’s more than most writers make these days.

8.  How do you get your inspiration?

It comes to me at the most unusual times.  Often, an idea will pop into my head and I’ll think, “That’s neat,” then consider it from different angles until I decide to sit down and try it out in front of the computer.  Once I start, the story usually takes on a life of its own.

9.  What kind of underoos do you wear?

I like the kind with Tigger and Pooh on them.  That’s Pooh spelled with a capital “P”.  You know, Winnie the Pooh, not...

10.  What story/series are you most proud of?

Story?  The book “An Amazons’ Moon”, because I actually got it into print.  That was an accomplishment for me.  340 pages.  Hoo, yah.  Series?  Oh, the Mel and Jan series, because it grew beyond anything I ever suspected and it did so at the readers’ insistence.  Accolades?  The X&G story “The Fast Ship”, I think, hit numero uno a couple of different times on the Athenaeum’s list and got a good review on the “Blurb” fan fic reviews.  That felt good.

11.  Do you get hate mail and how do you handle those?

I usually curl up in a ball, cover my head and whimper for an hour, then call my therapist.  No, actually, I’ve been extremely fortunate.  I get none.  I’ve been graciously accepted by everyone in fan fiction, and am thankful for it.  I don’t recall a single nasty email, ever. 

12.  How do you lay out your stories?  Do you have an ending before you start writing, or does it reveal itself to you as you write?  How do you get beyond just an idea?  How does it become a story?

Well, here’s the process.  I’m a pretty spontaneous writer.  My formula (at its most simple) is: take an interesting character or two, throw them into a situation of conflict, then allow the conflict to resolve itself.  I take the germ of the idea for a story, do any technical/historical research I need to do, then start writing.  It really unfolds in my mind’s eye as I type, and I simply describe what’s playing out in my head for any particular scene.  Eventually, there’s a story.  The ending?  Always upbeat, for me.  Hey, I love happy endings.  Call me sappy, but I want the reader to feel good after they finish it.

13.  What suggestions do you have for creating self-discipline at writing?

Gosh, I’m so undisciplined, a horrid procrastinator. It’s a wonder I get anything done. Sometimes, I wish my “Muse” had some dominatrix in her.  (“Bad little bard, you will write!”... spank, spank...)  I could use some suggestions myself.  I try to set aside some time every day to write.  Late evening is best for me.  I feel most creative then.  Often, though, love of the story is what keeps drawing me back to it on a daily basis until it’s done.

14.  Which story/series has gotten the most response from fans?

Oh, gee.  The Xena story “The End of Our Journey” was one.  I was touched by how many folks wrote to say that it had moved them to tears while reading it.  The original sci-fi “A Triumph of Love” was another, and I think it was because it dealt with the subject of prejudice, of intolerance toward differences of race, religion and sexuality.  Both stories meant something to readers.

15.  Do you like to write X&G stories or uber/original stories better?

I like them all.  Lately, I’ve been doing original.  The last X&G story I did had a very disappointing response (“Master of the Sword”). That made me shy to do another any time soon, although I might if I can come up with a really good plot for one. 

16.  When you’ve finished a story/book, do you miss those characters that you’ve written about?

I sure do.  After I finished the book “An Amazons’ Moon,” I wrote the Xena story “The Fast Ship” because I wanted to resurrect those characters.  They lived at the same time and place that X&G did, so it was a blast to see them together.  Hey, call me self-indulgent, but it was fun. 

17.  Is there a particular story which bombed totally?  One you wish you’d never posted?

God, yes.  I did a humor piece,  an X&G parody called “Mission: Ridiculous” in response to a bard challenge for RAOB, and boy, the readers must have thought it reeked.  I got not one email about it.  Not one.  In this case, silence is golden, I guess.  I don’t think that it’s posted anywhere out there now, thank God.  Hey, I still think it’s funny, but nobody else does.  Just proved to me how difficult it is to write really funny stuff.

18.  Do you or do you not wear underwear?  Is so, what kind?

Gee, underoos again?  Okay.  Yes, sometimes.  Depends.  (Har, har... “Depends”.  Get it?) 

19.  If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be and why?

Some doe-eyed cutie who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Hey, wouldn’t you?

20.  Years from now, how would you like to be remembered?

As someone who lived passionately and just once in their life did something right.

21.  Why do fools fall in love?

So we can get laid, weep, sulk, occasionally drink too much and write stories.  Hey, it works for me.

22.  What significance is there, if any, in the title?

I want a title which reflects the major theme of the story, something which catches the reader’s eye and sparks a little curiosity. 

23.  Can you see the book as a feature film?

Trust me, yeah.  Too bad Hollywood can’t.  Quit my day job, baby.  Yeah.  Hey, here I am.  Right here.  Robert Tapert?  Sam Raimi?  Spielberg?  How come you guys aren’t returning my calls? 

24.  What is a necessity for every writer in your opinion?

A day job.  See above.  Also, a passion for the story.  It oozes from the page and the reader can feel it. 

25.  Are you easily distracted by big breastesses?

Huh?  What?  What were you saying?  My, my.  Those are amazing, aren’t they?  Slurp.  Soft and round, with pert little... Ahem.  Where were we?

26.  Ever had a serious case of writer’s block?  How do you get over it?

Got one going on now.  My second book.  Stuck like a pig in mud.  I shift gears and put it aside, go on to something else, then come back later.  The key is, don’t stop writing.

27. What is essential to you in your surroundings when writing?  i.e., music playing, incense, candles, food/drink, smoke pot?

All of the above, plus an exotic dancer.  No, really, I’m easily distracted, so I like quiet, some solitude.  Candles help, and hot tea with a splash of rum or whiskey.  Last time I smoked pot, I giggled a lot and then fell asleep.  Hey, I was tired.  Okay, so I’m a lightweight.

28.  Where do you get your ideas?  Do they just pop up or do you hear something and see something and think... hey, that would work?

It all happens, at different times.  I got the inspiration for one story by watching the evening news.  Another hit me when I recollected the emotional turmoil of watching loved ones die.  It varies, and is totally unpredictable.

29.  Would you like to have dinner with me?

I would be honored, especially if you’re a doe-eyed cutie who thinks I’m the greatest thing since...

30.  Do you wear silk stockings?

What, are we back to the underwear thing again?  Hey, I live in Florida.  We don’t wear any socks or stockings at all.  Hell, half the time, we don’t wear shoes.

31.  Are you hooked up right now?  Tied up?  Twisted up?

Uh, let’s see.  Nope, nope, and maybe.  Check with me again after I have dinner with the cutie above, though...

32.  Do you prefer standard nipple clamps to those new ones that vibrate?

What, they vibrate now?  Where the heck have I been?  I’m gonna have to borrow one of those catalogues from Wizzy.

33.  Do you own a Jag or a Honda?

Actually, a Saturn sport coupe with a kickin’ five speed, a CD and a sunroof.  So, who wants a minivan?

34.  In your opinion, is Popeye equivalent to Hercules?

Hey!  How the %&^*! Did Popeye get in here?  Okay, he’s got the forearm thing going, but Herc beats him hands down on the pecs.  Besides, Herc got to roll in the leaves with Xena.  Can Popeye make that claim? Naaaah.  And I don’t trust anyone who loves spinach that much.

35.  Ever used any of those lil ole accents in ya’lls lil ole stories?

Why, Lordy yes, chile.  Ah just have done that li’l ol’ thing.  In the first two Mel and Jan stories, I gave Mel a southern accent, but was advised by a reader that it was distracting.  Upon reflection, I think she was right.  Now, I describe the accent and alter their vocabulary a little to reflect their origin, but don’t change the spelling of the words.  Come to think of it, a lot of my characters have accents.  German, French, Greek, Hawee, whatever.  Oi, vey!  What, you think it should be easy to do this accent thing?  I should be so lucky!

36.  Have you ever gotten the “shits” from eating too much cheesecake?

Hey, don’t talk about my ex-girlfriend, “Cheesecake,”  that way.  Actually, the coffee at work can... on second thought, do we have to talk about this?

37.  Have you ever had Wild Turkey and Bourbon in the same night?  If so, who held your head over the porcelain goddess?

Let’s see... the last time I did that, I drank half a bottle of really good tequila.  Last I remember, a little green alien was holding my head and quoting Edgar Allen Poe while I was calling upon Ralph...

38.  Did you ever think that there were people out in the world just as twisted as you?

I feared it, but until I was welcomed into the Sandbox, I didn’t have proof.  I love you all!

39.  Boxers or briefs?

Is this a trick question?  We’ve been here before, right?

40.  Are there topics you won’t write about?

Some, yeah.  Probably anything too degrading or hateful.  For instance, I’ll probably never write a scene of sexual violence, for obvious reasons.  I’ll never get too far into the mind of a twisted psychopath in a story, either.  Who’d want to? 

41.  Favorite writing instrument?

God, I love my computer.

42.  Worst book ever read?

“Portnoy’s Complaint,” by Philip Roth.  Had to read it for school.  Gag.

43.  What does being published mean to you?

I’d love, before I die, to make enough money at writing to quit my day job.  “Take this job and shove it, I ain’t workin’ here no more...”

44.  What do you expect to receive from the process?

I already get most of it.  I love writing fiction.  The creative process is a drug to me, and the emails I get from readers make my day.  To conceive of a story, love it, and bring it into existence through force of will and effort, there’s almost nothing like it. 

45.  Do you put a little of yourself into each story, something that might have happened in your life to you?

We all draw on our life’s experiences to write, I think.  Some of my characters reflect me or those I’ve known.  For instance, Jennifer in “You Have Mail” is a lot of me.  Jeni in “A Triumph of Love” is modeled after a former lover.  My mother has appeared in a story, as has my brother.  Jan Covington’s childhood memories in the story I’m proofing now do reflect some personal feelings from my own childhood, and so on.  Sure.

46.  Authors of a story want feedback, but 5 out of 10 never bother to write back.  Why?

Sorry to hear that.  I always answer each email I get.  If I’ve accidentally missed one, I apologize.  I might have thought that it was a junk mail or something.  Believe me, I appreciate every one of them and answer them all.

47.  What does feedback mean to you?

I sure listen.  It does influence what I write.  For instance, the Mel and Jan series has gone on so long because readers have asked for it.  I want to be entertaining, and their comments have taught me much about how to do that.  Plus, if I make an error in a story, they sure catch me and keep me honest.  Our readers are sharp!

48.  When do you finally feel comfortable turning your stories loose on the public?  It still makes me nervous when I post.

Me, too.  After seventeen stories and a book, I still get nervous as hell every time I put a new one out there.  All I can do is write the best story I can do at the time, proofread and edit it until I can’t do it anymore, then take a deep breath and submit it for posting.  Then, I wash my hands of it and go on to something else.  If the emails come in and praise it, then I know I’ve done my job.  If not, then I resolve to do better next time.  If my readers are entertained, if they’ve laughed, cried or thrilled at anything I’ve written, then that’s confirmation that the magic worked.  And, to me, writing fiction does have a magic about it.

49.  Let’s talk some more about your underwear.

Aaaaaugh!  I’m outta here. Say, you got plans for dinner, cutie?

Thank you, DJ for taking time to give a slight peek into your life as a writer.

Feedback is welcome. 

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April 13, 2005