I sit here tonight with the giggles from someone in a far off state, you know who you are. Don’t ya my dearest? LMAO... so while giggling like a kid in school over a email I decided I had better take some NightQuil for this blasted freakin head cold I have. So while fighting to get the child proof wrapper off I decided to read the label, now if you have not read my posted ramble on “What's On A Label” go do so.... this will make a lot more sense to you then!

 

So while reading this label on a bottle of Tylenol night time cold crap, “Tylenol Cough & sore throat nighttime.” It’s the night time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, go tell your momma I kicked your ass  so you can sleep, medicine.  I peeled off the directions to get the damned blasted plastic cup off. Who the hell uses the tiny ass cup anyways? I don’t, give me a big ass mouthful.  So I did just that. Well hell... one of the things I DIDN’T read on the front label is the “COOL BURST” you get from it when it first hits the tongue. What ever happened to my old standby of CHERRY? I about gagged an spewed this crap all over Dingoberry, my dog.  The poor dog looked at me like I had done lost my marbles. Little did she know those were gone 4 years ago.... Anyway back to the blasted label, I’m still lost on that last email I got earlier...lmao. Anywhoo, the label states do not take this medicine if you are taking MAOI’s. Do you need a bachelors freakin degree to read a label now days or what, then in even tinier letters it states or if your having bouts of depression. (Does wanting to kill the EX with bare hands count as a state of depression?) Then on to the next part, “Ask your Dr before use if you have:” then it gives this list of things, like glaucoma, isn’t a gloc a gun? And don’t you think a gun in the hands of someone depressed is not a good thing? Then it lists a cough that is chronic. Well hell people, I SMOKE, nuff said there huh? Ok this is the one I about stuck my finger down my throat to get rid of what I had just swallowed. And I will quote this EXACTLY how it is listed......

 

• Trouble urinating due to ENLARGED prostrate gland!??????

 

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Am I going to grow a part I thought can only be strapped on? I was beside myself.  Sweat began to pour from my forehead, no not from the high fever I got but from the thought of an extra part growing where one shouldn’t be! Because if you read on farther it states discontinue use if swelling and redness continues! Ok now I am about to dial 911, as the very next line is if NEW SYMPTOMS OCCUR??? OH GREAT what else am I gonna grow? Discontinue use if dizziness, nervousness or sleepless symptoms persist? EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! I was now all of these symptoms where twenty minutes ago I was only worried about my nose dripping off.  Now I am about to grow extra body parts?

 

Did it matter I had taken twice the dosage it recommends? Did that mean I will be packing like a Shetland pony when I wake up in the morning? MY GOD SOMEONE HELP THIS POOR KID! Then the clincher...DO NOT TAKE MORE THEN THE RECOMMENDED DOESAGE!  I just OD’d on freakin NightQuil an you all are sitting there peeing your underoo’s (IF you have any on that is!) but my nose stopped dripping and no more sneezing.

 

Now the wait begins on how long before I grow an extra body part! Well all I can say is Elvis has nothing on me now, so thanks Daddy! So with this I am off to dreamland to dream of my favorite which is my weakness as well....red heads naked on a beach. Should I grow any extra body parts in my sleep I shall change my name to Fred and move to Bedrock! 

 

Good night to my favorite ladies of all times. Look me up should you get down my way and want to have a tropical fling with Fred in Bedrock! And for Gods Sakes DO NOT READ ANY LABELS!

 

love ya all,ME!